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Should you loan money to friends?

Monday, January 30, 2012

I am interested to hear others take on this.... If you want to comment or even just vent.. feel free no judgement or condemnation here!!! I have bumped my head several times but I think I hit the last straw a few weeks ago.

Long story short.. a friend since I was 7, played one of her games on me.. again... went to a retreat with me .. said she was $50 short and then we get to the atm and the whole "i made a deposit and I can't get anything came out". Hmm since I am close with the oranizers I had already arranged to have her pay the weekend of the retreat.. then told them i needed to lend her $50 ... and ended up putting up all of it except for $60... bottom line is that was 2 weeks ago.. If I had it , I wouldnt even sweat it but I just went back to work and I didnt plan that extra in my budget..plus this wasnt the 1st time but I thought different since she was forthcoming needing a little bit..... I just have to forgive (the lie part ) and keep it moving... DO you lend money? Why or why not?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SPARKLE1908
    My answer pretty much runs with everyone elses..lol...but taking it as a lesson learned and not letting it distract you with food is a wonderful thing...it takes some people longer than others to start saying "NO" when they are asked for things..especially when it is realized that they are being manipulated or played...
    3312 days ago
    Thank you everyone for your comments. I really just wanted to see what others thought...All of the comments were familiar as my mother passes down that wisdom. In some of the comments I see where people can manipulate us especially if we are compassionate.... I agree with each and every comment.. I thank you also for sharing. I just felt like sharing my experience and believe it or not, its relevant on spark . In the past, the frustration has caused me to "distract' myself at times with food.. not anyone's fault but mine.. but I am self-aware and guilt free~
    3312 days ago
    Just don;t do it. I agree with all the comments. Money is just like favors, don't expect them to be returned, but appreciate them when they are. I have learned the hard way never loan what you can't afford to give away, and never loan what you don't have. I no longer put things on my credit card i can't afford to pay for. I can be very expensive to loan to family and friends, and it can become a habit.
    3312 days ago
    When my aunt and mom died in 2009, I was very vulnerable. An elderly cousin, in her sixties, asked for $200. I gave it to her and a few days later she asked for more. I reluctantly gave it to her. She promised she had money coming and would repay the loan by January. Well, January 2010, January 2011 and now January 2012 has come and gone. Maybe I should have asked her January of what year. Whenever I talked to her after the fact, she always begged for more time to repay me. She said she got behind in some bills and was helping her adult children and grandchildren. It is a shame that it cost so little to buy her out of my life. I have since said so long to my cousin and my money. Daddy always said, "Never loan or give someone more than you can afford to part with." I should have listened to daddy.
    3312 days ago
    If you are going to lend money to friends or family, you should consider it a gift bacause you are most likely NEVER getting it back. As an accountant and auditor, I hear this story ALL the time.
    3313 days ago
  • ROX525
    My philosophy has always been, when you lend money, hope to get it back, but in the back of your mind, know that it probably is a gift as it won't be returned....
    3313 days ago
    Whether we have it or not family/friends always think we have money and we often get asked. My philosphy is if we have it to give...give it without any expectations that it will be returned. If it is...that is great...but otherwise it eats at you if they dont' return it...or maybe you were counting on them returning it so you could pay a bill etc....Recently learned how to say "NO" to sister in law as she was demanding we pay one of her bills and to hurry up and call her back. Interesting the lessons we learn in life...when we were just wanting to help them out in a difficult situation. Were we helping or enabling?
    3313 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4413112
    I have lost count of the amount of people I have loaned money to and never get it back, it is not surprising though that when I need a bit of cash nobody is willing to lend it.

    3313 days ago
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