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Finding the missing piece - again

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

This morning, I've being reading this post www.dailyspark.com/blog.
about 3 major triggers called 3 Os : overwhelm, overload and overeating.
I've being meeting with those 3 ones almost every day for the last year, since I moved from St-Bruno to St-Jean. I've being unhappy for too long and I began seriously working on that bad feeling for the last month or so - since January - with a professional. I have gain my power back, as well as my self confident and at least 20 pounds.
Reading that post today re-connected me with my own procrastination and my hiding away from myself. I don't want to do that any more, leaving me out of my priority list and compensating with food and laziness (e.i. avoiding exercises).
"Having a food or fitness plan is not enough. If you don’t address the three Os, you are setting yourself up to fail at weight loss—no matter what plan or approach you choose."
So I decide to once again, get back at it and commit to take better care of myself.
Starting with daily moment of meditation - quiet or written - on how I feel.
This is the first one.
I feel sad. I'm disappointed in all that weight gain - erasing the previous years success. I know, it comes from a defense mechanism I have being using since childhood and I shouldn't put myself down with it - but the positive result is that it forces me to "see" how "big" unhappily I've being and how "big" I need to better treat myself. And by that I don't mean "food treat" but spiritual treat. My soul is healing cause I haven't being paying much attention to it - busy as I was trying to make sense of dysfunctional relationships around me.
Being 50 really changes your perspective on life. I know it did for me. As my b-day is coming next month, I want to embrace the next year with a brand new attitude towards life and friends and family members.
I'm sorry but "me time" is coming in. Let me correct that : I'm not sorry! This time around is all mine.
Everyday, I have to remind myself to become The Most Selfish Girl in Town! And act on it!
So every day, I'll come back to put my commitment to the test and to identify what would be my "me moment" of the day.
Writing this blog was my "me moment" today.
Going to a Qigong Meeting tonight is the next one.
Right now, I do feel much better - just giving me this honest pep talk and letting me be, giving me permission to just be.
So, see you tomorrow, babe.
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