Saturday, February 25, 2012
Sometimes you have to start over and that's always been a hard thing for me because i tend to be a perfectionist and should have gotten it right the first time.
When I started this journey back in june i didnt really know how much insecurity and pain would come along with it. I'm not talking physical pain but just emotional. I wasnt at a good place emotionally and the more i pushed the worse i felt about myself.
So i pushed myself too hard and got sick, really sick, It started slow but by september i was having dizzy spells and fainting and overall general feelings of weakness. So i finally sucked it up and went to my dr and was told i needed to rest. so i did and it was hard. i wasnt allowed to run or do anything really physical because i would pass out.
I also started realizing that my friends more often than not commented on how little i was eating and ended up getting some counseling for eating disorder and basically i needed to take a break and figure that my self worth was not tied into my weight and that i was loveable just the way i am.
So after I graduated and am sitting at home job searching realizing that right now i have all the time in the world that i really should be exercising i decided it was worth trying the sparkpeople thing again because it DID work while i followed the plan. I just wasnt emotionally ready even though i thought i was.
So thus starts take 2.
New plan is :
Cardio 5x a week 30-45 min
Strength training: 1-2x a week ( I HATE strength training)
Calories:1200-1700 a day
Blog once a week
oh and i'm not going to look at the scale very often cause it just isnt a healthy thing for me bc i get obsessive if i'm not losing i'll start tweaking but it's more about the inches than the #
Well it's a start!
so this week :
Cardio: 4 days
Strength training 0
Calories: 4/5 ( i was way low on thursday about 900)