Wednesday, April 18, 2012
So I've only been here a handful of times in the last year due to starting a new job.....or so I've told myself and anyone that would listen. Really the new job was just an excuse not to be accountable for what I put in my mouth.
I logged in this morning, entered my food and noticed a blog title in my friend feed. I clicked and read it. It talked about being accountable. I then clicked the link to a Spark page of someone I have never even seen on here, randomly clicked one of her blogs and guess what it was about.......accountability. There's a theme going on here. One that I desperately needed today. That's because I am now 40 pounds heavier that when I started my job a year ago today. I swore up and down that I WOULD NOT gain my weight back because I took an active job and felt confident with what I was doing at the time.
Well, I've been promoted to manager and now work full time plus. I LOVE my job! I don't feel like I perform as best as I could because I carry this added weight. In fact, I feel totally disgusting and I hate the way that I look!!!!!!!! The guy that was manager before left the company but, he was a big guy that ate lots of snacky foods around me and I hated that.....I hate that it even affected me, but it did. About a month ago, I hired a young man that really took the job because it is active and he wanted to get into shape. He eats good food and doesn't eat a bunch of junk around me all day. So, I've become that bad example, that bad influence. Imagine that....I hated it when the other guy did that to me!!
Anyhow, back to this morning, I logged in and came across this blog about accountability that just had me in tears. I will be 40 in just under a year and I really, truly want this to become the best years of my life!! I want to be fit and energetic and I can't do it this way and I can't just sit here and hope it will happen because I don't want to be 40 and fat!!!! This blog stated that "You and I aren’t anyone, we are amazing someone’s who mustered up the courage to walk this journey and sometimes fight the fight that is so difficult." I used to be that girl not so long ago that would fight and fight hard, and I want her back!!!!
I intend to be here. I intend to be accountable for what I put in my mouth and I intend on losing this stupid 40 pounds PLUS! Finally, I still intend on getting to my goal weight -even with setbacks like this, I will NEVER quit for good!!!