208 to 52 (I am better than ever!)
Saturday, May 05, 2012
I have decided to be transparent in this blog. Not sure why but here we go....
I am 51 years old with 2 daughters, 16 and 26. I am an only child that came from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was 12. I was a troubled teen because of this and did some things that I am not proud of. I went to school for nursing and after 5 years(1 year extra because of rebellion) BUT...I graduated!!!! I have never been married and my daughters have different dads.(It was always my dream to get married to one man and have children) Neither have contact with their fathers. I have anguished that this is the way things are.
I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis incidentally after the docs thought I had appendicits (they did a ct scan I actually had a dead gallbladder). 2 yrs later I found out I had a meningioma on my brain. (my mother had a glioma and aneurysm that took her life at 52) My dad died when I was 25 and pregnant with my first daugher. My mom was in the hospital recovering from her first brain surgery when he died. (oh and he was in Texas and we lived in Illinois. I was 32 when my mom died.
Being a single mother has been emotionally and financially a challenge despite the fact that I make a decent salary. So I say all this to acknowledge that life has been tough. I have wanted to throw in the towel so many times in life. Because I thought I could not continue to get through all the things that have happened to me in my life. (what you have read does not even touch the surface of my challenges)
I have learned that
1. I have amazing daughters who love their mom
2. I have an amazing support system and I have learned to lean on them and return the favor
3. I can make it work with what I have at the moment! I can abase and abound!
4. Happiness is not based on your situation but on your outlook
5. De past is de past and I can only learn and grow from it not live in it!
6. Love, forgiveness, peace,compassion, mercy and gratitude are important to me.
7. One must decide what their core values are and aspire to live by them
8. The things I have gone though in my life have made me who I am today and I am thankful
9. Nothing lasts forever. Trials and tribulation come but they also leave!
10. I am a survivor and nothing or no one defines me....
Bonus: No one lives forever so don't spend a lot of time in anger, strife, hatred, fear, unforgiveness.
Resolve what you can while they are alive. (I thank God that this was not a problem for me)
Wt today 159 GO DIMI!!!!
As the group Chicago says ....FEELING STRONGER EVERYDAY!!