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letting some stuff out

Thursday, May 24, 2012

so the last few weeks I've been feeling really down just about everything. I've been slacking on the weight loss, and just can't seem to find that get up and go to get this weight off me. I find myself thinking about all the times I'm failed at different things, and how much I wish my life had turned out different then it did. I know the worst thing to do is to self doubt yourself, but it hard to change years of habits.

I find myself wishing i had the support system I need to get though this. I really don't though i pretty much only have myself to get though this and get this weight off. It moment like this that I realize how much I really miss my family. I really miss the support they gave me when I was trying to loss weight. I remember mom would sit down with me and help me try and figure this out.

I just wasn't ready to loss weight then. I wasn't in the right frame of mind in order to do it. Now though I would love to have that in my life. Mom helping me get though this looking things up together maybe trying to go for walks together. How ever I lost my mom back in 2006 so I guess I'm on my own though this.

I have a younger sister left , but she is not in the right frame of mind to loss this weight. I have my BF who into fitness, but he just doesn't understand the emotional issues that come with years of being over weight. I think the emotional issues are a lot harder to loss then the weight is to actually loss.

I'm sitting here not really sure on why I am even writing this today. I think i just needed a place to talk and feel like this might be someplace I can find my support system. I would love to really loss this weight and really shine though.

I know that losing the weight though I also need to deal with the emotional issues I have going on in my life. Maybe I start blogging about issues and dealing with them. I need to figure this out. If anyone willing to be a spark buddy and help me out I would really be thankful/
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