It's been a very difficult few weeks for me. I haven't had a lot of time to process it or really come to terms with a lot that has happened. My year went from being kind of crummy to being a downright disaster. Here are the basics:
I lost my job a few weeks ago
I found out my dad is emotionally abusing my mom and brother
My roommate tried to commit suicide
These are sort of the big things that have happened. There are various other smaller things like general loneliness and a general feeling of worthlessness but the three above are the things that are directly affecting me.
I think this is the hardest year of my life. I wish things would change or get better but they won't. It seems like with each passing month something new slips, breaks, or cracks.
I will admit, my job loss was kind of a good thing because, although my money situation is confusing right now, I wasn't happy at my work and I think, if I can figure things out, this might just be more conducive to my lifestyle. I'm trying to juggle unemployment, waitressing, and baby sitting to see if I can make ends meet. I've been out of a job for maybe 2 weeks now so, only time will tell.
I don't know what to do about my dad. I know there's nothing I can do about it from 3,000 miles away but it still worries me. I hope my mom and my brother really can just up and leave him but it's difficult for them.
My roommate is really the biggest issue. He's doing fine at the moment and seeing a therapist on Wednesday but I'm just not sure how much I can emotionally take right now. It seems like my world is falling apart around me and I'm pretending things are fine.
I also feel very strange talking about it. I feel like I'm whining or like it's unbelievable. How do so many bad things happen in a row? It's unfathomable. But those are the facts of the matter and trying to cope with them all is...harrowing.
That's the update, I guess. I try to keep an open mind and have the overall sense that things WILL get better...although I've had the same sense this whole year and it's only gotten worse. I just hope things turn around soon.
Sorry for the depressing entry. On the bright side, despite all of these goings on, I've managed to remain at my goal weight and even make a few more recipes come to light. Here are a few of them (something a little nicer to leave you all with!):
This recipe was a complete failure. WAY too salty. I'd like to try it again at some point but, not for a while. It's scorned me like a bad lover.
This came out AMAZING! It really tastes like taco meat! All it really is is ground up walnuts, soy sauce, and spices. VERY tasty. The cheese is Daiya vegan cheese which tastes pretty good melted.
This is such a great breakfast. Like oatmeal but with a different, nuttier flavor and a nice texture.
Roasted Asparagus and Mashed Faux-tatoes
My asparagus could've been better but the mashed cauliflower came out incredible! Almost exactly like mashed potatoes only way healthier.
Roasted Brussels Sprouts
I never had Brussels sprouts as a kid and I have no idea why. They're awesome! An easy recipe too. It's just olive oil, salt, and pepper. They're fun to cook too since you get to shake them every 5 minutes or so. Definitely a keeper.
Hope that leaves you a little more positively than when you found me anyway :P