The real me
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
I gained this week. To be completely honest, I didn't weigh in last week, because I couldn't find the wii remote, so I just left my weight the same as the week before. I haven't given it my all or even a part of my all. I did this last round, too! At this point, I'd like to finish the challenge at my start weight! I'm beginning to think that I should take time off from BLC. I know that BLC and the Bombshells aren't the problem. I know that it is me, myself, and I. I have been very negative this round, especially in my own head. Each time I see a challenge, I think "why bother"... This isn't the real me, though. This isn't who I want to be. This isn't who I was a year ago. I don't like who I am becoming. I am not giving up this round, though (even if there are some who think that I should). I will give it my all for the next 5 weeks and stop beating myself up. I will stop thinking negative thoughts, or at least push the thoughts out when they come.
I did get up this am, again and walk with my friend. Came home had some quiet time, weighed in, *gasped* and then signed in (finally) to my biggest loser wii game. I did the 12 minute beginner program after walking 30 minutes, then the 6 minute cool down. It isn't as though I ran a marathon, but I am getting started, again!!
I am still feeling, down, though. If I really sit and think about it, I see my whole world falling apart. Nothing is really as I want it... I don't say this to evoke any sympathetic posts. Prayers would really be awesome, though. I hate that many of you never got to meet the lady that I was last year, before Gaby's accident. Probably most of you think that I'm just a whiner and a complainer. That isn't the REAL me. That isn't the ME that is inside of all of this FAT!