A downhill slide
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I"ve been babying my recently dislocated hip and it still really does feel unstable. I"ve been too scared to use the recumbent bike and can hardly walk even across my house as my feet ankles and legs are so painful. I was thinking that Enbrel was helping last week, but this week is a different story. I'm in quite a lot of pain. Hands, feet, and legs. My neck too has been very "vocal".
I"ve been struggling with some depression also. Feeling like things are on a downward slide and feeling helpless to stop the tumble. My best friend, fellow sparker VXWALL1942 is in the hospital not doing well at all and I'm extremely worried about her.
I have paid no attention at all to my weight or to what I'm eating. Because there's not much of anything in the house, I've not been eating a lot.....but who knows what the scale will say??? maybe I'll get the nerve up tomorrow to weigh myself. Sometimes I think , "You know, life is more important than watching everything I put into my mouth. I will never be able to be really physically active so maybe I should just resign myself to my current weight and just attempt not to get any bigger than I am." Maybe I should look for some other ways to spend my time. Maybe there is some craft I can do. I just got the "PRO" version of the art software that goes along with my art tablet...maybe I should spend some "quality"time creating and mastering the software. especially now that my chat partner is incapacitated.
I don't know. I need to do something quickly to reinterest myself in life.
I apologize to my fellow RAD Team members...I've not been the greatest leader lately. Iwill try to do better.