Fighting an addiction is difficult

I don't smoke... I don't use illegal drugs... I abuse caffeine. When you start drinking it you don't think its addictive... you're just thirsty... well... here I am, about to start a dark road of no energy drinks.

I know there will be withdrawl symptoms... especially massive headaches. I'm going to feel tired and lousy for a while. I'm just hoping that I can make that push to switch from energy drinks down to regular soda and then down to water/juice/milk. I'm fed up with feeling dependent on them to make it through a day. I'm done with feeling like crap. I just want to have lots of natural energy, stay awake the whole day and not need a nap... I want to walk up the hill without feeling like I need to stop half way up...

I don't want to put on anymore weight, I want to drop a few pounds. I don't want to get out of control. I thought that having my surgery was going to be that life altering moment. That moment in which I realized that I can't continue the path I'm on... in reality it isn't the surgery that gave me that lightbulb... it was my inability to walk up the stupid hill without getting winded...

I'm back here, hoping to make this work again, hoping to drop a few pounds. I just wish I had more true friends to talk to about it.