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Day 435: Doldrums

Monday, January 21, 2013

According to my dictionary, a state of inactivity or stagnation - sailing ships would be caught in the doldrums of the mid-Atlantic where the winds were too insufficient to push the ship.

In this case, it's the calm after the storm and (probably) before the storm.

I feel as though I spent the whole weekend on the phone. My mother, my aunt, several cousins - there was a family crisis and we were burning up the transAtlantic connections for the better part of two days. And that doesn't count the myriad emails.

When I first moved to the UK I told (convinced) myself that with the modern high-tech communications, keeping in touch wouldn't be an issue, and that if push came to shove, why, I'd just scuttle back to the US and do whatever needed doing.

In PA I lived about eight hours from the rest of the family - that is, eight hours by car - and a flight from England takes just about eight hours, so even with a bit of drive-time to get from the airport to wherever is still comparable in terms of "I can be there by __ o'clock."

Except, of course, I can't.

If the house had sold I might well be in the States: we are tentatively planning to move there for a while once it sells, and (we hope) eventually end up with a small apartment or condo in America and one here, so we can come and go more easily.

But the house isn't selling, and my mother isn't getting any younger, and I can't drive where I need to be - regardless of comparable time frames, arrangements are ever so much more complicated than throwing a bag in the car and heading off. Airports tend to frown on that sort of thing these days, and there's really no such thing as last-minute dashes to the gate.

That's it. Mini-vent over. I missed blogging yesterday altogether (and I'll sort out what I think about that some other day) as I was away with the faeries - Britspeak for "out in left field." To say I was distracted is an understatement.

G'night, Sparklers, wherever you are...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have a friend who lives here in the states but her mother lives in Germany. It does cause a lot of stress during family emergencies because she can't just get there in a matter of a few hours. I hope things turn around for you soon.

    I did think to myself yesterday, where is Kasey's daily blog? Thanks for not forgetting us emoticon

    2960 days ago
    wishing your house would sell.... Although live in the same country as my one sister and mother, they are 18 hours drive away and the air tickets are expensive.And I grew up watching the pain of long distant family as my mother is Ausralian and the only one from her family to move to South Africa. We used to laugh at how whenever we went to an airport - even to fetch my father who had been away for a day - she had her dark glasses on as she would cry watching others saying goodbye and others excited to see each other. In those days communication was very limited (weird phone calls with echoes and lots of delays every few months). While growing up she went back twice (over about 18 years) and we only went with her once. My grandfather came to visit us a few times. So...a long winded way of saying thinking of you...
    2960 days ago
    So, the calm between two storms. I hope things get settled soon with the house, and that you can go forward unfettered with that concern at least.

    Sending positive vibes your way!

    2961 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    "It's a small world" doesn't apply when you are paying transcontinental bills and facing a whole day in the air or waiting in a chair...
    2961 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8447668
    It certainly would help to have a place on both sides if you are needing/wanting to back and forth. That way you can leave each place supplied and won't have to have that part of the traveling to do each time. I did this with my ex (before he was an ex). It was just from one state to another, but it was sure nice to have my own bed in whichever state I was in.

    I hope things smooth out soon for you.
    2961 days ago
  • GINNJEN1974
    Sounds like alot is going on for you. Hope the house sells soon and that you can get everything in place too.
    2961 days ago
  • POPSY190
    It is hard when these things happen. Hope things settle down for you and that there are more fair winds ahead for everyone.
    2961 days ago
  • LE7_1234
    Ah, yes. The joys of international communication....

    I'm in Israel, sister's in England, most of the rest of the family is in Colorado. I don't know what we'd do without Facebook--great for emergencies.

    I'm not yet at the point of supporting family back home, but it's one of those "probably in my future" scenarios. Sending you positive thoughts to get you through it...

    2961 days ago
    Ahh, doldrums.... had to look that up, in swedish it is "stiltje". Thougt you might like to know emoticon
    2961 days ago
    Sometimes it is nice to drift a bit before the wind picks up.
    Sorry to hear about your family difficulties. I hated being only 3 hours by car from my mother as she aged. It is really tough being an ocean apart.
    All the best in sorting this out.

    2962 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2962 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7658463
    2962 days ago
    emoticon I will be praying for you and your Family. I can only imagine how FRUSTRATING the distance makes the situation.
    2962 days ago
    Such a nightmare when distance is an issue. Hope things settled down---let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
    2962 days ago
    emoticon Know how hard it is to participate "from a distance". Hope things resolve themselves and you get some semblance of "normal" soon.
    2962 days ago
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