Seven Years Now, And Esaay
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Well as of today it is officially seven years since my husband died and 6 years since we moved as well. he would have been 74 this year. His birthday is on the 10th of May a few days before mine. He was exactly 19 years older than me;I was 19 when we married. I still thik of him now and then and wish he would have taken care of himself. I remember the first year on his birthday; after he died. We had decided to remember him by making a boiled dinner with corned beef. Well i made the whole head of cabbage instead of half and we ended up eating it for a week! Now we only eat reubens out of it; incredible how much fat is on it. i wish on the last day that i had said goodbye instead of see you later. I wish I would have known. The awful despair of coming home to have a paramedic tell you that he is gone; there was nothing they could do. I was working that day and my daughter was home with him. He fell asleep and she could not wake him up. His hands were clenched really tight too; he had a heart attack, a massive one. Do not tell me he did not feel it; not with his hands like that. I once read a fictional book that described a person having a heart attack and how hard it really was. i cried after reading that part cause i knew he died in pain without me being there and that he did not want his daughter to know or see him like that. Pain eases after time but never disappears; we will always miss him. This clas is harder this time around. Struggling to find my sources and need to get the reserch paper in by tomorrow night. Now it nis latre and I will log my calories tomorrow and hope i am not low.