I'm back. I've been off of Sparking for two weeks... partly life and partly laziness. But it's been an education, for sure!
(Warning: what follows contains lists of junk food that I ate... If you have triggers from reading about your favorites, you must proceed with caution!)
Last week, on St. Patrick's day I weighed in at 156.6, the lowest I'd been... And then my time of the month started. And I got really lazy. I only went for a walk on one day that week. 3 measly miles when I normally walk somewhere close to 20 per week... And I began to eat... chocolate chips for one thing. And marshmallows... and cookies... Just about anything I could get my greedy little hands on. Anyway... on the 24th I weighed in at 157.4.... not a huge gain, so I figured I'd just get back on track this week... so I merrily went off to the Conyers Cherry Blossom Festival. (Which was interesting, and I got to see a neat Taiko Drums performance). And I proceeded to drink coffee and hot chocolate all day... not a single glass of water, which I had also been slacking on all week. I at least walked around the festival grounds... three times I think. And I did manage to go for shorter walks this week... on four other days. BUT... and here's the kicker. Since Monday I have consumed 2 cans of soda (my first since I started on sparkpeople), 2 of the 11 oz bags of snickers, 1 11 oz bag of skittles, a bag of cheetos, a box of swiss rolls, brownies, donuts, and several servings of alcohol.... ALL IN ONE WEEK. And I didn't track a THING for these two weeks... yeah. Not good behavior. I weighed in today at 158 lbs.
But I mentioned that these past two weeks were educational... and they were. As I was consuming all that sugar and junk food I could really feel my energy levels dropping. The sugar crash was incredibly obvious! And it hit about 15 minutes after I'd consumed something... which meant that I felt like I needed a sugar or caffeine boost to fix it... which meant another crash in 10-15 minutes. It was a self-defeating cycle of repeated mistakes. It was a binge of massive proportions for who I have become and who I wish to be. I felt like I could not stop until the food was gone. Which, when you buy a bag of skittles and a bag of snickers at the same time... leaves you with a REALLY heavy stomach, the mother of all sugar crashes, and fuzzy teeth feeling. None of which are fun.
And as I felt my energy levels dropping, I could feel myself getting more and more irritated. I was irritated with myself and with the members of my family. I didn't feel like I looked good, I didn't feel like I was making progress, I felt fat again, and I didn't like me. I was not a happy person to be around. And it gave me a glimpse back at who I was just six months ago... and I don't want to be that uncomfortable in my own skin again.
So I crashed and burned these past two weeks. But I'm getting up and I'm walking away. Pilots always say that any landing you can walk away from is a good landing. I'm going to take that attitude... Any slip up and failure that I can get back up from is a learning experience.
That being said, it is really hard. Today being Easter means that there is some candy around the house, and I know where it is. And whenever I come out of a snack attack or a sugar binge I always feel like eating, even when I know I'm not hungry. But it's hard. So very hard not to go and find the rest of the baby ruths and the crunch bars... instead, I'm doing my best to refill my water glass and maybe I'll try that black forest cake yogurt instead of the candy if I can't stand it anymore.
Here's some picures from the Cherry Blossom Festival:
The Renaissance Fest booth at the Cherry Blossom Festival
My friend Hayley in costume for promoting the Renaissance Festival
The guys from Tampa Taiko made their drums from old wine barrels and their chime from a muffler! Innovative!
Thanks so much for stopping by to check on me and support me! It really means a lot to me!