Doing What I Can

Today I did my Spark Coach. I've been AWOL for the past three or four days. I was paging through some SparkPages and I encountered a blog which mentioned the 12 Steps to Recovery from addiction. While I do not feel that I have an addiction something the blogger said struck me. "The other side of letting go of things you cannot control is changing what you can." That really hit me between the eyes. There is so much that I can't control....but I have to let go of that and stop obsessing about it and I have to just DO WHAT I CAN.

When I was in the psych hospital last summer I got down to 200 pounds for the first time in close to two years. I was only there for a week.....so what did I do there? Well, I ate my meals (and obviously - they were hospital meals, prearranged not by me) and I had two snacks a day -- always cookies. But I drank OCEANS of water....and I paced the floors of the unit. I walked around and around those 6 hallways....resting on my bed in between. Iwasn't walking to exercise. I walked because there was nothing else to do. And oddly: I lost weight...despite all the Oreos.

Now my house is small, walking around it would just wear out the carpets and it would get me dizzy in these close quarters. However, I do have a staircase of 12 steps. Sometimes what i do is I go up and down the stairs until my legs get shaky or I get too winded to continue. Granted the windedness might be the bigger issue right now. But again. "Release what I cannot control;...and do what i can."

Another thing I can do is just to eat less. Maybe if I set certain times for eating and not allow myself anything in between. Like three meals and two snacks like in the hospital. And they will have to be healthy snacks because I do not allow Oreos in my house.

My husband is interested in doing an eating plan originated by a
Doctor Fuhrman...which is a diet to regain cardiac function in a diseased heart. It consists of three fruits a day and POUNDS of veggies. and nuts and seeds. Nothing else. No pasta ...no bread. NO grains of any kind. It sounds extreme but t is supposed to be really effective and foolproof for reversing heart disease. I will have to investigate it further....but I may actually agree to join my husband on this journey of his. He already weighs less than I do...which is downright embarrassing.

I think I need to also employ visualization some more. PIcture myself attaining all the victories I so desperately desire. Getting off the HTN meds and wowing my doctor when I go to see him having lost a bunch of weight. When I started this journey three years ago....I only did what I could. I only walked as far as I could get each day....never mind if that was only three houses down. I think I have not started small enough. I'm trying to push my body to the middle and skip the beginning.

So my goals for today?
1) to walk a short distance outside
2)to do the stairs 3 times.
3) to drink a LOT of water.