Friday, April 19, 2013
Today I weigh the same as I did yesterday. Now I know that is no reason to be upset. I mean I really CAN'T expect to continue to lose a pound a day every day. But somehow, yeah, I'm disappointed. I knew after I tracked yesterday that I was kind of high on calories. I hadn't broken any rules of the diet (except for the handful of animal crackers I had in the night)....but I did just eat high calorie choices. I had two helpings of the banana ice cream and two smoothies (I had to eat lunch on the run yesterday so a smoothie seemed to be the best option.) Dinner was lentil stew and veggies with Ginger/Sesame sauce. So nothing really bad. Just NOT optimal.
Today I am determined to do better. But I will have a problem with lunch. I have a dentist's appt. and then will be on the road when time to eat. My mouth will likely be numb so maybe I wll have to skip lunch. Maybe that would be the best option. Just skip it altogether. That is better than eating out and blowing everything.
My husband is complaining that his stomach and system can't handle the sudden change to masses of veggies. He said it is making him feel sick. I guess that 's possible. AS for me, I feel great.
I think for this morning I will forgo my usual smoothie and have a ""quick banana breakfast to go"...it is bananas, blueberries, dried currants, nuts and seeds and old fashioned oats cooked in pomegranate juice. I don't have pomegranate juice so will use red currant juice. It was a cheaper alternative. Anyway, that sounds good and it sounds like it will stick to my ribs better than a smoothie, since I have to last until dinner.
Today I have a lot to do. My case manager is coming this morning and we are going to load up her car and cart over to the church my donations for a big clothing drive this weekend. Then my friend is coming to take me to the dentist....and we will go shopping afterward. There is a big Oriental Farm Market in the town where my dentist is so will go there and pick up some exotic fruits and veggies. We will also head over to a large Christian bookstore nearby. It is owned by friends of mine and I always like to stop in and say hi. It sounds like a nice day (except for the dentist).
I have a nagging fear....that my weight loss will stop and I will eventually regain...even without my going off of the program I'm on. Sometimes it seems like my weight is independent of anything I do and is completely irrational and hell bent of staying high. I have to insist to myself. "NO! This WILL work. You just have to stick with it" I can't get all bummed out by the scale just because one day , it did not go down.
One thing that I found interesting in the Joel Fuhrman book was his distinction between true and toxic hungers. Toxic hunger is the hunger you and I know. It is a tummy twisting growling and can be accompanied by headache or lightheadedness. He said this is not hunger, this is your body detoxing from the poisons in your system. IF you pause in shoveling in those poisons, your body protests.....and that is how it does it. He said that once you detox you will discover "true hunger" which is a sensation of need in the mouth and throat. How very interesting. Even in my anorexic days, I was not "truly" hungry. I was just in a constant state of detox because when I DID eat; I ate poison. I will be so excited the first time I experience real hunger.
Thankfully,I have not experienced many of the detox symptoms he warned I might. I think this is because I had really not eaten too badly before. yeah. I had items that I no longer eat but by and large my diet wasn't terrible.
So today I'm going to make better food choices...and when I'm not home in a place where I can eat well, I will simply not at until I get back home. And hopefully, tomorrow the scale will say "213".