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The Divorce

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Today I'm going out. I will likely be out at lunchtime. I do not know what I should do about food. I can't really bring a salad with me because I'm going with a friend who is not bringing food. Besides I'm kind of sick of salads. The things in town which are the most conducive to my diet are a salad at Perkins or a veggie burger and salad at Jake's Wayback burger. I'm kind of broke so hate to spend any money on a meal...never mind how good it sounds. Chances are good though that he will just have eaten a big breakfast out and I will be out of luck until I get home and then I will have to eat leftovers which doesn't sound at all appealing but is inexpensive.
So I guess it's either a win/win or lose/lose depending on your perspective. I will CHOOSE to look at it as win/win.
I DID have a fairly good workout today. Did some strength work on my arms and abs and then did 20 minutes on the recumbent bike. So that is one positive. Trying to look for good things in my day. I don't know what I'm gonna make for dinner. Dinner is always a HUGE source of anxiety for me. I get anxious about cooking....about whether or not my husband will eat it primarily. I need to divorce myself from that concern. I need to look at it like "I"m cooking for ME....if he wants to eat some of it, he's welcome to but if he doesn't like it: TOO BAD." Why CAN'T I look at it like that? Why should I have to fear displeasing him? In fact if there is a meal that I think sounds good, I should just make it even if I KNOW it's something he won't eat. I'm doing this for me. He's a big boy and can pour himself a bowl of cereal if he wants to.

I need to simply divorce myself from concern about his likes and dislikes because face it: he's like Mikey: HE HATES EVERYTHING....and I'm tired of living in fear of his displeasure. So yeah. I need to start cooking for me. My daughter is pretty amenable and if she doesn't like something she will find something else. Resolution carried with no "nays"

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I make new thing the family tries them and they are picky if they don't like it I will fry them eggs or something but they have to try the new stuff first!
    2810 days ago
    Proud of you ! emoticon
    2811 days ago
  • _LINDA
    I know a lot of your fear of displeasing your husband at mealtime is that ferocious temper of his. He is one strange duck. He is aware he has to eat healthy to prevent a heart attack and yet he is not willing to put in the effort. Well, you really can't help someone who won't help themselves. You can just do your part, putting healthy meals on the table for your family and they can take it or leave it!
    Take care of you!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2811 days ago
    You GO! Why should you put yourself through so much angst? Continue to stand your ground and stand up for yourself, and most importantly - do not allow others to bring you to a state of fear - he is, indeed, a "big boy"!

    Hang in there!

    2811 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1898454
    I grew up in a household where the rule was "you eat what's put in front of you. If you don't like it, too bad. If you decide not to eat it, you can wait till the next meal and try again, no snacks in between!" Thankfully my mom & dad were both awesome cooks, so very rarely did I ever skip a meal!

    But I get frustrated with people who are so ungrateful when someone takes the time to prepare a meal for them! So what if it's not your favorite thing in the world to eat? You get a meal placed in front of you that you didn't have to put any effort into, so just shut up & eat!

    My husband, thankfully, will eat pretty much anything I fix, and most of the time it's good but I do have a dud every now & then! But he eats it & doesn't complain.

    I'm sorry that your husband isn't supportive in that way. But you're right, you need to fix food that is good for you and healthy, and if he doesn't want to eat what he didn't have to prepare, then he is more than welcome to prepare his own meal to his liking! I know that's hard to get yourself to that place, because we are wired to want to please our husbands. But sometimes we have to implement "tough love". He'll either get it or he won't. Either way you'll be healthier and happier.

    emoticon emoticon
    2811 days ago
    You are right, he is a big boy. Cook your dinner and put it on the table. If he does eat it, just eat and enjoy your meal. Clean and go exercise or do something else. If he is hungry, he will find something in the kitchen to eat. Don't feel guilty! You do need to have a sit down and very gently tell him your concerns. Tell him it is important for you to get and stay healthy for your daughter and him. Tell him you need his support. Hubbie wasn't on board with me either for years. I gained so much weight and health problems came rolling in. He had to take care of me and that woke him up. He is eating healthy and exercising with me. He had gotten overweight, too. You have to take care of yourself for the future as well as now.
    2811 days ago
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