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Hungry, Fat, and Nearly Dead

Saturday, May 25, 2013

My husband and I just came in from him getting a hair cut and going grocery shopping. We didn't get home til 1:15 so I was ravenous. I'd stopped at a church bake sale and got my daughter two pieces of fudge. Well in the car, I ate one of them. I was so hungry ....it took the edge off of my hunger and allowed me to make it til I got home and could heat up some leftovers to eat. My husband is all "F*** this diet." He got me discouraged. He got me feeling like it's impossible to eat this way....completely impractical. Granted when you are out and about , it is VERY hard to find anything you can eat. I went into a deli today and aside from an iced tea there was nothing in the entire store I could have.

I also got discouraged because it's exPENsive to eat like this. I have to grocery shop usually twice a week to keep enough fruit in the house.....I've been eating all together too many smoothies. And not enough salads. I'm supposed to be eating a pound of raw veggies a day and there's no way I'm approaching that. I need to re - read Eat for Health to get motivated once again. I'm feeling very discouraged.

I think I"m looking too far into the future. I'm looking at a lifetime of eating limitations. I'm looking at trips with no place to stop... I have to remember the dude in the movie Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead who drove cross country with his juicer in the trunk of his car. He stopped at farmers' markets and produce stands and he had plenty to fuel his juice diet.

I need to just look at today. Can I eat like this for just today? And the answer is "yes I can." I enjoyed that piece of fudge, although it was too sweet. But I didn't need to even finish it. I do not have to eat mass quantities of sweets to be satisfied. And I was eating it as a food. If I 'd had a piece of chicken in my hand I would have been equally satisfied. I just needed SOMETHING to put into my empty stomach. I wish it had been a salad. But that was not available. I cannot beat myself up over eating fudge. I know I was not eating it because I was overcome by temptation. I was merely overcome by hunger....and it was the only food available.

I CAN do this. I WILL do this. My husband's foul temper and negative attitude do not have to rub off on me. It seems so complex. It seems so difficult. But it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be complicated. I do not HAVE to prepare gourmet meals 7 nights a week. We can eat leftovers. We can have a salad or steamed veggies in a pita. We can eat raw veggies and hummus. I CAN do this. I WILL do this. TRY and STOP me!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hugs! I am feeling similar. I have read a good portion of the book. I have eliminated wheat/gluten for a number of months already (though I know there is still some hidden). Now I am allergic to eggs and it is making my hunt for food even more difficult. Thinking of you with good thoughts. Deborah
    2802 days ago
  • BETRME100
    I love your determination!!
    2802 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11010295
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    2803 days ago
    You GO, Cynthia! You CAN do it! I'm so proud of you! emoticon
    2803 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10895053
    In the long run, your husband should really begin to love the way you're cooking and eating for how much healthier you will be and look! Oooo-la-la!! I know for a fact that my husband would poo-poo that way of eating too. Meat and potatoes are the name of the game for him! Full fat but not so much salt, which I'm thankful for. Today I made a chicken stir-fry which he loved and some brown rice, which he said that he'd rather have those fattening chow mein noodles, but he himself said that he knew that what I made was healthier! Yay! I made a full-fat rhubarb crisp which he loved and said that I could made that again and again. Do you know that the crisp part has 1/2 c. of butter in it?! Ya!! Oh my, for the problem areas when we dissect a recipe these days!! It's atrocious! But also, it felt good to hear him compliment me on it over and over again. Our son too! This was from our first rhubarb of the season, so it was extra special! You maybe could make one of your husband's favorite desserts once-in-awhile and that could make him happier every now and then. Just keep doing what you're doing because it's making you feel so good and more healthy and there's no replacement for that! I'm so proud of you and admire your perserverance and discipline! You are such a good example! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Karen emoticon
    2803 days ago
  • _LINDA
    Good advice here already -carrying something healthy and portable, especially when you know the time is close to a meal time. I would find it hard to resist fudge too. You do your own thing, and let foul tempered hubby take it or leave it or make his own if he doesn't like what is being served. Just remind him its his heart if he derails.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2803 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5645667
    You can do this my dear friend.
    I can feel the frustration and determination in your words ...
    One little piece of fudge isn't going to ruin your day .. In fact it may give you the strength to keep going ... Hugs Susie.
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    2803 days ago
    Don't let your hubby get you down, what you should do is carry a little snack with you when you go out just a little something in your purse to take the edge off in case you have a day like today.
    You can do this, if no one else believes it you have to be the one to BELIEVE in yourself! Next time be prepared.
    Good Luck on your journey! ( I know sometimes I've gone out unprepared and stopped at the local CVS and picked up a slim fast just so I wouldn't eat junk.)
    2804 days ago
    While we were away, trying to "eat out" drove me nutz - I resorted to grocery stores. They don't seem to have salad bars anymore, but they all had prepackaged salads, so there was my fresh, raw veggies (I don't put commercial dressing on salad because I don't like any of them). I bought fruit, fat-free plain yogurt (yes, I think it's an acquired taste, but now I love the stuff, lol)... skim milk and hi-fiber cereals... and carried around some hi-fiber bars "just in case." Basically worked, but you are right - it's a PITA to find stuff, and almost any restaurant / cafe / diner food is loaded with gobs of salt. And sugar. And fat. And who knows what.

    There are no easy answers, Cynthia - maybe no answers at all.
    2804 days ago
    It is difficult to be focused when those around you are negative. Maybe you can find a way he is out of the equation. Take slimfast, atkins or other diet snacks in your purse(my husband likes to have one too). I might cook a big casserole and take a small portion for me and add extra fruits and veggies. Your husband does not have to join your diet but he should not give you a hard time. I hope things look up soon. Hugs, Laurel emoticon
    2804 days ago
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