Hungry, Fat, and Nearly Dead

My husband and I just came in from him getting a hair cut and going grocery shopping. We didn't get home til 1:15 so I was ravenous. I'd stopped at a church bake sale and got my daughter two pieces of fudge. Well in the car, I ate one of them. I was so hungry ....it took the edge off of my hunger and allowed me to make it til I got home and could heat up some leftovers to eat. My husband is all "F*** this diet." He got me discouraged. He got me feeling like it's impossible to eat this way....completely impractical. Granted when you are out and about , it is VERY hard to find anything you can eat. I went into a deli today and aside from an iced tea there was nothing in the entire store I could have.

I also got discouraged because it's exPENsive to eat like this. I have to grocery shop usually twice a week to keep enough fruit in the house.....I've been eating all together too many smoothies. And not enough salads. I'm supposed to be eating a pound of raw veggies a day and there's no way I'm approaching that. I need to re - read Eat for Health to get motivated once again. I'm feeling very discouraged.

I think I"m looking too far into the future. I'm looking at a lifetime of eating limitations. I'm looking at trips with no place to stop... I have to remember the dude in the movie Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead who drove cross country with his juicer in the trunk of his car. He stopped at farmers' markets and produce stands and he had plenty to fuel his juice diet.

I need to just look at today. Can I eat like this for just today? And the answer is "yes I can." I enjoyed that piece of fudge, although it was too sweet. But I didn't need to even finish it. I do not have to eat mass quantities of sweets to be satisfied. And I was eating it as a food. If I 'd had a piece of chicken in my hand I would have been equally satisfied. I just needed SOMETHING to put into my empty stomach. I wish it had been a salad. But that was not available. I cannot beat myself up over eating fudge. I know I was not eating it because I was overcome by temptation. I was merely overcome by hunger....and it was the only food available.

I CAN do this. I WILL do this. My husband's foul temper and negative attitude do not have to rub off on me. It seems so complex. It seems so difficult. But it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be complicated. I do not HAVE to prepare gourmet meals 7 nights a week. We can eat leftovers. We can have a salad or steamed veggies in a pita. We can eat raw veggies and hummus. I CAN do this. I WILL do this. TRY and STOP me!!