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An experiment

Sunday, July 21, 2013

I took a few days off from tracking my calories. I didn't chart my diet or exercise most of last week. I did weigh myself everyday. I seem to be able to keep a stable weight without obsessing over what I eat.

I do have a problem. My live-in boyfriend likes to call me "fat chick". I know I'm not fat. Consciously, it doesn't bother me. But subconsciously, it keeps me from eating as much as I would otherwise. He says I still have a belly. I do, but it's shrinking. I find a few days I make myself eat more, but then I eat less again. He calls all women "fat chicks" so he won't stop this behavior.
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    I don't usually comment on personal relationship issues, but as a guy who has made a few casual insensitive remarks in my time, I'm going kick in my 2 cents. You need to tell your friend that the phrase bothers you and ask him to stop using it around you. It doesn't matter if he thinks that is unreasonable. He should agree to stop just because you asked him to. If he slips up a few times give him a break. Its hard to break a bad habit instantly. Good luck.
    2742 days ago
    Wow. I can see that eventually leading to a huge issue between the two of you. Just because someone does something rude and inconsiderate all the time doesn't make it right. I hate to say it, but eventually your self confidance will be even stronger than it is now, and this won't be a small annoyance - it may grow into a reason to kick his butt to the curb.

    Maybe try to talk to him. Think of something he's done or tried to do that is difficult, or he takes a lot of pride in. Show him how you've supported him in this. Point out how you felt it was important to him, so you supported it. Then tell him how this weight loss is one of your things. You are taking pride in it. You are working hard at it. The "pet" names are hurtful. Talk to him about how you would appreciate him being more supportive and encouraging.

    If that doesn't get through to him, I wish you both luck. Relationships are hard enough without things like this causing more problems.
    2742 days ago
    Great experiment! Congratulations.

    That is not cool that he calls you and other women fat chick. I know that this says more about his self esteem than how he feels about you but it is really unkind.

    My ex was like that. Years ago when I was losing weight, the scale showed I was up a pound and I was disappointed. He said, "well what did you expect potato chip" I had eaten three, THREE jays potato chips earlier in the week which was AMAZING self control for me. He called me potato chip for a couple weeks after that.

    I hope he stops that! You look fantastic!

    2742 days ago
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