Family influences

First Id like to say, Im adopted. I love my family with all my heart and I know they love me back. We are a unique bunch .I have 8 brothers and sisters, some are white and some black. My mothers white and my fathers black. Not that this matters I just want to give you a visual.

I haven't always had weight issues. But my mom and one of my sisters has until my sister just started losing all this weight, at 98pounds. She looked sick. But the weight just fell off.only reason she gained it back is because she had to get her gallbladder removed and it helped her to eat her favorite foods again. But before she had the gall bladder issue I could tell she was eating very small portions. My mom has had weight issues for years. Her weight has always been up and down. But recently she had gastric bypass surgery.

I say all that to say I've always felt pressure from them to be small. When to me it seems like they've always taken the easy way out. So when I get excited about losing 8 pounds, I feel like they look at me like " she is so pathetic". They never say these things but I feel they think it. So ive distanced myself from my family and they think its because I don't want to be around them. But its not really that. Its just that every time I go around them I leave feeling lower than crap. I feel so judged because I'm not shedding pounds quickly.

I realize this may sound like a ramble. But I just needed to vent guys.