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In need of a pep talk!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

So, I've done weight loss before, very well in fact. So well that it seems I am doing it all over again. Let me step back. 2 years ago, as a new years resolution, I wanted to quit smoking and to lose weight. Then it just so happened that we played Biggest Loser at work. I was doing fantastic and on Atkins I was losing something like 1-3 lbs a week. I was so busy working on losing weight that I didn't have time to think about smoking. Both were going great, better than great!!

So, if any of you know me from my posts for the past few years, work isn't any better. We are still doing 10 hr days and no breaks. I am now the 2nd best person in my department. We still get no rewards, no validation, no consequences for those who don't work. I work harder than anyone and I get nothing for it. Its such a terribly heart breaking job on top of that. I move people all over a hospital, and all ages. This means even those on the edge of life. All of this physical work, (on average I walk 10 miles a day, and pushing obese people up and down ramps) my brain is drained.

From my previous posts you all know that I sort of swing from the spark diet to atkins. Not on purpose, but because of urges. I do find myself happy with the menu on atkins but I still crave those not good things. I appreciate the atkins diet because it opened my eyes to food and what I was really eating. I never studied something as hard as I did atkins, though I still have questions.

Anyways, I went back on to atkins 7 days ago and I've been smoke free for 2 weeks. I am very proud of myself but at the same rate, I'm ashamed. This is where the pep talk is needed. I've almost transformed myself back into a noob and I know the answers to my questions, I just need to hear/read other members saying them to me, if that makes any sense at all.

My issues are, I don't feel as though I've lost any weight.
* Yes, I know its only been 7 days)

I feel awful in my skin because I let myself go when I said I never would.
* On my wedding day, I weight something near 136. I still can't believe it, now I'm back to 156 after the wedding because it was such a relief to have the stress over.

I am scared to look at the scale.
* I told myself I wasn't going to weigh myself until 2 weeks, not sure about that.

My husband doesn't like me on atkins because he can't cook for me as easily.
* I gave him 3 cookbooks to go from and the atkins bible.

Someone give me the advice I already know, I just need to hear others say it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Your job sounds gruesome. I feel for you.

    Try not to worry and hang in there. Don't have a perfectionist attitude. Just stay on Atkins and do the best you can. Some days will be better than others but if you don't give up you will be successful.
    2524 days ago
  • L-RIOT
    thank you JO74555, and LOL! Yes, I have a new bounce to my step! Today is my Friday so I am soooooooo excited! I took off 4 days because my husband and I were going to go up north and have a honeymoon but the money isn't there. So then we were going to paint the house but again, the money isn't there. We are going to NJ for a week in the first part of Sep so all of our money is going to that.

    So I have 4 days off, plus 3 others for no good reason. I plan on using this as me time and to find a better job. It just has to be done, I can't keep doing with.

    SISSYP63, the biggest issue with my husband cooking is that he doesn't eat a lot of meat. He also hates to touch/trim meat. Its also hard to explain that any sort of meat would be fine with a side salad. I came home from work and he made me sausage (4 carb per 2 oz), and a big pan of peppers and onions with braised celery. I adore him but he doesn't understand this the same way I do lol.
    2525 days ago
  • JO74555
    gm :) ready for the trenches today? woke up thinkin about you and hoping you have a renewed vigor. Today I too will find the good in people and cardboard. (kidding about the cardboard) :)
    2525 days ago
  • SISSYP63
    Not on the Atkins but currently Semi Vegetarian. You got to find what makes you happy, Atkins is, just do it! emoticon Maybe if your Hubby knows your favorite recipes would help. If he likes to grill, that be another nice option.

    Awesome you got a FitBit! That's wonderful you do 10 mile average! That's a nice tool for you! I just started to do the Nike Running App that doing for Walks that's so cool but like to use it for Running down the road but still think I like to have a FitBit. Be strong!

    2525 days ago
  • L-RIOT
    Thank you Fran! Yes, most people don't know that we don't get breaks. When they ask, I mention it and they find it hard to believe. The only thing that keeps me going at work right now is knowing I'm planning on leaving. I love that its a physical job and that I get to meet people but the working conditions are the worse I've ever had.

    Goodness Koshie, its like Jillian Michaels was giving me a pep talk. I do need tough love and to stop having a pity party. Around 3 months before the wedding I wasn't tracking really or caring about what I ate because I had too much stress to care. I go from low carb to low cal every now and again because it works for me. I've found a way for me to maintain, its my own way. Since I've noticed my pants getting tight, I figured I'd get back on atkins.
    2525 days ago
    pep pep pep pep pep Pep Pep Pep PEp PEp PEp PEP PEP PEP PEP....

    You have to start where you are, girl! I'm 57, and I haven't met my fairy godmother YET! So... I have to do it myself, and so do you. Since you probably don't have a magic wand either, you will have to settle for doing it the slow, steady way.

    Please start by posting on whatever team you feel most comfortable. Ask for help and advice. Then follow thru! Execute some of that advice! It doesn't do itself, you know!

    I'm also going to suggest that you COMMIT to following ONE diet rather than drifting back and forth. Low carbing, particularly Atkins, tends not to be compatible with doing low-calorie diets -- due to the amount of fat in low carb diets. You just end up gaining weight while you switch back and forth! And that really undermines a person's motivation!

    Yes, there are urges. So what? There are failures also. So what? What you do is AS SOON AS YOU CAN, you pick yourself up and get back "on the wagon." Don't waste time with blame or mucking about, just get up and try again. Do your best every time. You aren't doing this for anyone but yourself, and you deserve to treat yourself well.

    Which reminds me.... EVERY SINGLE DAY, do something to treat yourself well. Preferably something NON-food related! Take the time to acknowledge to yourself that you have done something purely for yourself, to treat yourself well. In fact, write it down and keep a record! It can be as simple as taking 5 minutes to look at the sky, or as complicated as planning your next vacation. Or looking thru Craislist for a different job... Trust me. This is a MAJOR thing to do towards rewarding yourself for staying on a diet. It won't seem like it at first, but eventually, you will know that it DOES make a difference. I started a thread "What did you DO good for Yourself today?" and everybody admits that it has made a difference for them.

    And now to address your issues: You didn't gain it in a week; you are NOT going to lose it in a week. That is BAD thinking! You are NOT on a diet! You are eating to achieve your goals! And you want to maintain your goals for the rest of your life! There is nothing temporary or fast about this -- it is ALL the rest of your ENTIRE LIFE!

    Tough love: You are human, just like the rest of us, and you messed up. We all do. You think you are so special that YOU, out of ALL HUMANS, are not going to regain any weight? Get over yourself! Regrets don't make you lose weight! Forgive yourself, re-commit to yourself (NO FOOLING!); and just keep on doing your best. Not your half-ass efforts! You are worth your BEST efforts!

    Personally, I've never understood why someone who wants to lose weight doesn't look at the scale. I weigh every day. I get DAILY feedback on the rightness or wrongness of my efforts the day before -- so I can change things that need to be changed promptly! I either have gained or I've lost -- it doesn't matter how much. But, I only "count" it once a week. And I don't add it up for a whole month. That is a personal thing however. Honor what works for YOU. If you aren't a scale watcher, then you had better keep a measuring tape handy!

    YOUR HUBBY COOKS FOR YOU?!? Geez, that's tough! He finds Atkins difficult? No wonder; you gave him cookbooks! HE'S A GUY!!!! Duh! Tell him to cook you some meat. Hamburger, chicken, eggs, whatever. PLAIN meat. He can sprinkle spices on it -- so long as they are not spice MIXTURES. Then he can tear up some lettuce and grate some cheese on it. And if you are feeling hungry, you can even have a 1/2 cup cooked LC veggies. Do the work and give him a list so he knows WHAT veggies. And count your lucky stars! Hubby can also make some peas, corn, or potatoes on the side for himself to eat. DONE! and easy too!

    In the meantime, use your free time to research those 3 cookbooks you gave him and figure out which ones sound good to you and seem easy enough for him to try making. 'Cuz after a couple months, the simplicity of the meals can become boring. By then however, you'll have lost some weight, and re-found your motivation, and be ready with ideas because you will have ALSO been surfing SparkPeople to find out how other people successfully handle their food urges. Do NOT depend upon your husband to do your work for you! YOU must invest in yourself!
    2525 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    I am so sorry to hear that your work situation hasn't gotten any better, and that a medical place would treat employees so poorly; they should be ashamed working people for 10 hours without a break every day. Now let me assure you that the majority of those patients you transport do appreciate what you do, and would be aghast if they know how long you work without any breaks.
    2525 days ago
  • L-RIOT
    Thank you! I really needed to hear that :)

    I love working with everyone because I get to meet a lot of new people every day. I also make them feel better about their situation. I always ask anyone who hurt their hip, knee, or foot, if the kitten they tripped over was ok. Or I ask kids, "what's the best part about chicken nuggets??" I always get KETCHUP!!!! I also am there to give parents hugs, and to cheer the kids who come back from the brink for checkups.

    They also comment on how much physical work I do and I get to tell them about my 10 mile average. I also got a fitbit for Christmas and it tracks flights of stairs so I am able to boast to them that I climbed 400 flights in one 10 hr shift.

    Thank you again, I really really needed that!
    2525 days ago
  • JO74555
    i have not tried the atkins diet, but i can totally relate to how feel. feeling unappreciated is really crappy, but i want you to know something. You should know how appreciative I am of people like you who take the time and have the compassion to work with people who are sick. If not for people like you, we'd all be taken care of by mean people who don't give a rat's ass on how we get from room to room or test to awful test. Whenever you feel you don't deserve to feel good about yourself, please remember, WE NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!! If it wasn't for those that pick up for the no good slackers, truly our society would fall to a fast ruin. so again, I thank you, because i've been in the hospital and been fortunate enough to be handled by someone as caring as you are and unfortunate enough to be treated crappy by another. Please know you are worth more than you can imagine and taking care of yourself is important and you deserve to feel good about YOU!
    2525 days ago
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