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Wow--I'm Starting to Feel a Little HOPE Again!

Monday, September 02, 2013

For the longest time I was despairing. I have started, made progress, and then abandoned better eating habits and exercise SO many times.

My highest weight has been 241; I remember being 200 at my father's funeral on 4/27/11 (because I fit into a Size 14W dress to speak that day). A few weeks ago I realized I was right back to 241.

Every time I lose more than the initial 5 lbs that I lose EVERY time I start/restart, I seem to get cocky, start feeling "thin", think it's going to be easy to lose the rest, and then let everything go to hell in a handbasket.

As of today, though, I have lost 13 lbs in 30 days! And it hit me tonight, when I got back from my walk--I'm actually starting to feel HOPEFUL again!!

So many times it has seemed just impossible to stick with anything, and I'd make excuses about how stressful my work is, or how unhappy something might be making me, etc, etc.

But for some reason I decided AGAIN a month ago that I just can't spend the rest of my life like this, feeling so many years older than I am, letting life just pass me by while I sit on the couch complaining that my knees hurt or my back hurts or my feet hurt.

I'm very thankful for whatever hit me that night while I listened to the NutriBullet infomercial for the umpteenth time. I felt like maybe this would be my last chance to make a real effort to get healthier. (Oh, yeah--and for the first time in my life, I found out my cholesterol was high--over 260. That was another wake-up-and-try-again call.)

Anyway, this was a 3-day holiday weekend--a time when I usually make excuses to do things like go to our area's annual "Fair" and pig out on fried dough dripping in butter and cinnamon and mini-donuts and bloomin' onions with horseradish dip.

Instead, this weekend I did one hike, 2 long walks, and I turned down pumpkin pie AND ice cream. emoticon

I'm feeling SO much better. Please, Lord, help me keep it going this time!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD2475290
    We are usually our own worst enemy. You let your mind (stomach) convince you to do something where you know you'll end up eating the wrong things. Or you go some where that will have food temptations.

    I really applaud you for not going to the fair and taking walks and hikes instead. You keep that kind of stuff up and the "200" will be a thing of the past.

    2779 days ago
    Hi there! Here's to our BEST start! emoticon
    2782 days ago
  • LARABY34
    Hope is good but your plan is better. When you put one foot in front of the other your body has no choice to follow you. There is no past, no luck and mystery. You keep going and you will keep being rewarded. You are awesome!
    2782 days ago
    Keep up the good work! Your story could be mine. Keep doing what you are doing emoticon emoticon
    2783 days ago
    I could have written this blog, it is my story too. I have tried so many times and failed. I always lose some weight and get cocky then gain back more than I lost. THIS time is going to be different, for both of us. We're going to just keep on exercising and watching what we eat. We're going to monitor our food, and not let ANYTHING get in the way. When we feel emotional we're going to exercise instead of eat. When temptation comes along we're going to say "No thank you, I'm making progress and want to keep it that way". We can do it!!!
    2783 days ago
    Acquiring hope is a huge gain for the good! so glad for you
    2784 days ago
    2784 days ago
    2784 days ago
    HOPE. It's truly my motivator too. I am SO glad to hear you are feeling it. You are still here, still Sparking, still trying, never giving up, so you are WINNING! It's like a tug-o-war. You may give a little ground then take it back but you will NOT fall into that mudpit ever again no matter how hard you have to pull. I'm cheering for you!
    2784 days ago
    Ihope so... think how much better you feel eating well and moving. Blog it and print it out, journal, art journal whatever it takes. and BTW just cos I do those 3 - I still have to keep at it and stop and start way too many times for my own good. HUGS we will get there!!!
    2784 days ago
    Congratulations on the 13 pounds, and even more impressive -- the 30 days!

    Maybe stay off the scale for awhile, so you don't "know" when you have lost enough weight to make you feel thin and cocky? I do exactly the same thing, so I have to work VERY hard to stay off the scale. Every turned down treat, every workout or walk does NOT result in weight loss, so I have to quell my feelings of frustration/entitlement.

    p up the good work, you are absolutely goin4gr8!
    2785 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11519434
    2785 days ago
    emoticon emoticon It sounds like your mind is in the right place!
    2785 days ago
    you can do this, just don't give up again, if you gain one week, that is ok, just remember what your goal is, and you will reach it, I know, I have been steady for almost a year, but, now I see a couple pounds drop, and this is good, gives me some motivation again.
    2785 days ago
    Here's to hope leading the way to permanent results this time!
    2785 days ago
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