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Done with losing weight...

Friday, November 08, 2013

I have been contemplating this for a while, but I just don’t feel like losing weight anymore! And that’s not a bad thing. :)

My journey has been a long one with my weight. With the exception of those times where I ‘gave up’ and didn’t worry about how much I gained, I have been concerned with that number on the scale and/or realizing I needed to lose weight since I was 7 (literally). The need to lose weight has essentially been an ever-present thought for the last almost 4 decades.

In 2005, when I was on 2 meds for type 2 diabetes, and seeing the effects of diabetes on family members, I had gastric bypass surgery. At the time, I was up to almost 320, and had been in the high 200’s, low 300’s for a very long time. But over the last few decades, my weight has yoyo-ed around, and anywhere between about 190 up to 320. For me, the gastric bypass was a great decision. Within 8 months, I was off both medications and my glucose levels and A1c were normal.

The weight loss was a beautiful bonus. I went from 320 down to my lowest of about 175 within 2 years of having surgery. But bad habits came back. Or more importantly, good habits didn’t really stick because I hadn’t focused on those enough (eating whole nutrient-dense foods and getting in regular exercise). Stress of marriage, moving, changing jobs all brought me back up to 237.6. I was less than 20lbs away from DH’s weight and that freaked me out. I have no idea what finally kick-started me, but in August of 2011 (on my 3 yr wedding anniversary), I started focusing on the good habits again.

So here I am, a little over 2 years from when I started this piece of my journey and I am now at the lowest I have ever been in my adult life. EVER. 162. Down 75lbs since Aug-2011. It’s a good number. But more importantly, I am fitting into size 8’s and 10’s, which I never thought would happen even after the gastric bypass. I have recently been called “small” and “thin” by different people. Now they may have just been comparing to the old me, but a size 8/10 doesn’t lie (let’s ignore vanity sizing for the moment).

Technically, I am still in the overweight range according to my BMI. I will be in the ‘normal’ range at 149.9. But I am sort of ready to be done with the scale. My focus for 2 long years has been mostly about the scale, though some of this has shifted to learning more about food sensitivities I have and staying away from food that my body doesn’t like.

But in general, I am happy where I am at. I don’t want to be one of those people that is forever concerned about losing those "last 5-10 lbs" and is always focused on what they eat and how many calories things are and feel guilty about having a piece of cake. I am in a place that I didn’t think I would get to, and I just am not feeling the push to lose more weight. More importantly, I am healthy and fit. I want to increase some on my cardio, and definitely increase my strength training, but I think I am in a good place right now and a lower number on the scale isn’t going to make me feel any better than I do right now.

I am in the middle of the BLC23 right now, in fact we just finished up week 6 (out of 12). I want to stay focused for my team, and myself. I firmly believe I will be in the 150’s by the end of the year. And I think mentally, I just want to be happy with where I am at then and focus on remaining healthy and fit, and not focused on a specific number on the scale.

I know for other people, the goal would be much lower. And I am struggling with that a little bit. But I find it’s really only when I am online and focused on the BLC results and “know” in writing what people’s goals are. When I am walking around living my life, I don’t think about the goal weight of other people! Yes, sometimes I see some skinnier people than me, but at 44, not sure some of those sizes are even realistic. But most of the time, the people I envy are the ones who I see at the gym lifting weights, or doing Turkish Get-ups beautifully even with 20lbs in their hands. (go look those up- they are deceivingly difficult!)

So yes, I am calling it done at the end of the year. So what does this mean? Probably not much of a change! I still plan on tracking my food, I still plan on working out, I still plan on eating mostly nutrient dense foods that my body likes. But I am hoping I can step away from the scale a bit. I am a daily weigher (confession: sometimes more). I need to let that go a little bit and believe that the foods I give my body are what it wants, even allowing for some small indulgences. And I still plan on being active with some challenges where I have to weigh-in once a week and keep myself accountable! Though, I hope I will still focus more on how clothes fit than the scale.

The number on the scale has been such a goal for me over the years. But I am looking forward to finding new goals to focus on!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    a GREAT blog!
    2331 days ago
    Hey Elizabeth, that is fantastic! You have had quite the journey over the years. I'm glad you have found success and know what works for you and what doesn't. My goal is 160 pounds too and I have had some of the same thoughts you have had about if that is low enough, blah, blah, blah. I'm like you, I think when we get to a point where we feel good and look good and are comfortable then we should stop. We are the ones who have to live with the decisions we make, not someone else.

    I have enjoyed getting to know you and I wish you continued success.
    2506 days ago
    GREAT BLOG and WELL SAID Elizabeth! I am SO proud of you and how much work you have done physically, mentally and emotionally on YOU! Most of all I have enjoyed getting to know you as a friend and neighbor! I can't wait to mentally be where you are now in the next year or so!

    Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, feelings and success with all of us!


    2506 days ago
    That was just BRILLIANT!! Best line of the blog "Yes, sometimes I see some skinnier people than me, but at 44, not sure some of those sizes are even realistic. But most of the time, the people I envy are the ones who I see at the gym lifting weights, or doing Turkish Get-ups beautifully even with 20lbs in their hands. (go look those up- they are deceivingly difficult!) " YES YES YEESSSSSS.. chickadee.. I am probably 30lbs from where I want to be ultimately but I'm mentally sick (uhmm not ill LOL) of the constant focus on the number on the scale .. it drains me.. rather than fuels me.. when I was working towards my Zipline goal it FUELED me.. but now? when my goal is more how my body looks, feels and performs? I don't really care about the number..

    I have no doubt that you will be at 150 by the end of the year... just as I have no doubt that you will maintain the habits that have gotten you this far.. and I bet you'll be surprised at the scale moving when you expect it the least!

    2507 days ago
    What an inspiring blog! I know how busy you are and I know how many distractions there are in your life; but your sense of determination and dedication are awe-inspiring. Excellent!
    2508 days ago
    You have come so far and for that you should be proud of your accomplishments! I'm closer to the 300 mark. That's where I began anyways but with hypothyroidism I do the yoyo thing a lot! I'm currently down to 267 and no where's near that 160 mark! So grateful for Spark and people like you who share their stories and inspire me to continue the good fight!
    2508 days ago
    FABULOUS BLOG ELIZABETH!!! You have explained yourself so well - and helped me understand some of what's been going through my head recently! I can totally relate to envying the strong people as opposed to the skinny people!! It's funny how finding ourselves at a comfortable weight - even if it doesn't fit the perfect number we've had in our heads forever - can help us see the big picture! When push comes to shove, it's not our ultimate number on the scale that is going to determine our quality of life. It's the food we eat and our fitness level that will be the determining factors! And, if we both opt for acceptance, because we'll both continue our healthy lifestyles, I have no doubt the scale will continue to slowly drop and stabilize at the right number FOR US!!

    Thank you for putting in to words what I've been struggling to understand!!
    2508 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/9/2013 8:55:35 AM
    GREAT attitude!! My original weight loss goal was 145 and I reached that in November 2011 (by eating very low carb for a couple of days before WIN). I stayed there for about 10 minutes then my weight stabilized at around 147 to 150. After feeling like a bit of a failure for a while I decided just what you did - my clothes all fit, I felt GREAT - so I changed my goal weight to 150.

    In the past year, by gradually increasing the freggies in my food plan as well as eating more and more whole foods, my weight started creeping again - but this time DOWN! It has stabilized again, but this time right around 145 (even without that low carb thing.)

    I said all that to say this - YES listen to your body. Like you I never want to be one of those women who looks at food as the enemy - I want to enjoy all life has to offer. I will always have to keep my eyes on the scale, because at 65 (66 in January - yikes) weight DOES come back quickly if I lose focus. But I've learned I can enjoy any food - just in moderation.

    So I say GO FOR IT!! There is more to life than the scale!!
    2508 days ago
    Great post! emoticon
    2509 days ago
    seems like you have it under control!! when i first started reading i was thinking ,,oh no don't gain it back ,,but then i got to the not going to change part and i know you've got this ,,great job!!

    P,s i am also a daily weigh-er ,sometimes it helps ,sometimes it hurts,if i'm doing good i sometime think i can have a reward
    2509 days ago
  • SUNSHINE20113
    Sometimes you just know when to stop. Your body knows. Well done on making that decision!
    2509 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13564730
    Good for you! You are doing great! Congrats on your continued healthy lifestyle... emoticon
    2509 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    Half of all people who have GBS regain all the weight again after two years, so you have done fantastic.
    Do read Richard Bernstein M.D.'s "The Diabetes Solution" (I got it at the library) and listen to his lectures on YouTube. He says all obese people have Insulin Resistance and can benefit from Metaformin for weight loss. I'm glad the surgery stopped your T2D. He has so much helpful information since he treats mostly T2D patients. He has had T1D since he was 12 and he is a healthy 78 now.
    2509 days ago
    I am so glad you shared that with us, I completely LOVE and agree with everything you have said! My goal weight originally was 180 just because I didn't think I could do it. My goal weight is 160 and IF I want to go lower I will go lower. But I am not going to let some BMI chart or other people picking smaller goals make me feel bad about my goals. If I can get to and maintain around 160 I will be maintaining a 112 pound loss... and that sounds pretty good to me.

    I love what you said about how not much will change. All of your healthy habits are here to stay, but you will have a little more freedom with your calories and being able to have those moments where you can eat treats. Love it. I also love the idea of getting away from the scale. I am really looking to step away from the scale after BLC this round. I would love to get on it once every other week and move to once a month. Of course with that would come great responsibility to stay on track and pay EXTRA attention to how my clothes are fitting... but I think it would be such a great mental break and I look forward to it. :)

    You are amazing, your weight loss is amazing and your maintaining is going to be amazing too. You are so strong mentally and physically and I am proud of everything you have accomplished!! emoticon
    2509 days ago
    emoticon I couldn't agree more! I try not to focus on the number on the scale either.
    2509 days ago
    2509 days ago
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