Done with losing weight...
Friday, November 08, 2013
I have been contemplating this for a while, but I just don’t feel like losing weight anymore! And that’s not a bad thing. :)
My journey has been a long one with my weight. With the exception of those times where I ‘gave up’ and didn’t worry about how much I gained, I have been concerned with that number on the scale and/or realizing I needed to lose weight since I was 7 (literally). The need to lose weight has essentially been an ever-present thought for the last almost 4 decades.
In 2005, when I was on 2 meds for type 2 diabetes, and seeing the effects of diabetes on family members, I had gastric bypass surgery. At the time, I was up to almost 320, and had been in the high 200’s, low 300’s for a very long time. But over the last few decades, my weight has yoyo-ed around, and anywhere between about 190 up to 320. For me, the gastric bypass was a great decision. Within 8 months, I was off both medications and my glucose levels and A1c were normal.
The weight loss was a beautiful bonus. I went from 320 down to my lowest of about 175 within 2 years of having surgery. But bad habits came back. Or more importantly, good habits didn’t really stick because I hadn’t focused on those enough (eating whole nutrient-dense foods and getting in regular exercise). Stress of marriage, moving, changing jobs all brought me back up to 237.6. I was less than 20lbs away from DH’s weight and that freaked me out. I have no idea what finally kick-started me, but in August of 2011 (on my 3 yr wedding anniversary), I started focusing on the good habits again.
So here I am, a little over 2 years from when I started this piece of my journey and I am now at the lowest I have ever been in my adult life. EVER. 162. Down 75lbs since Aug-2011. It’s a good number. But more importantly, I am fitting into size 8’s and 10’s, which I never thought would happen even after the gastric bypass. I have recently been called “small” and “thin” by different people. Now they may have just been comparing to the old me, but a size 8/10 doesn’t lie (let’s ignore vanity sizing for the moment).
Technically, I am still in the overweight range according to my BMI. I will be in the ‘normal’ range at 149.9. But I am sort of ready to be done with the scale. My focus for 2 long years has been mostly about the scale, though some of this has shifted to learning more about food sensitivities I have and staying away from food that my body doesn’t like.
But in general, I am happy where I am at. I don’t want to be one of those people that is forever concerned about losing those "last 5-10 lbs" and is always focused on what they eat and how many calories things are and feel guilty about having a piece of cake. I am in a place that I didn’t think I would get to, and I just am not feeling the push to lose more weight. More importantly, I am healthy and fit. I want to increase some on my cardio, and definitely increase my strength training, but I think I am in a good place right now and a lower number on the scale isn’t going to make me feel any better than I do right now.
I am in the middle of the BLC23 right now, in fact we just finished up week 6 (out of 12). I want to stay focused for my team, and myself. I firmly believe I will be in the 150’s by the end of the year. And I think mentally, I just want to be happy with where I am at then and focus on remaining healthy and fit, and not focused on a specific number on the scale.
I know for other people, the goal would be much lower. And I am struggling with that a little bit. But I find it’s really only when I am online and focused on the BLC results and “know” in writing what people’s goals are. When I am walking around living my life, I don’t think about the goal weight of other people! Yes, sometimes I see some skinnier people than me, but at 44, not sure some of those sizes are even realistic. But most of the time, the people I envy are the ones who I see at the gym lifting weights, or doing Turkish Get-ups beautifully even with 20lbs in their hands. (go look those up- they are deceivingly difficult!)
So yes, I am calling it done at the end of the year. So what does this mean? Probably not much of a change! I still plan on tracking my food, I still plan on working out, I still plan on eating mostly nutrient dense foods that my body likes. But I am hoping I can step away from the scale a bit. I am a daily weigher (confession: sometimes more). I need to let that go a little bit and believe that the foods I give my body are what it wants, even allowing for some small indulgences. And I still plan on being active with some challenges where I have to weigh-in once a week and keep myself accountable! Though, I hope I will still focus more on how clothes fit than the scale.
The number on the scale has been such a goal for me over the years. But I am looking forward to finding new goals to focus on!