My Only Enemy Is ME!!!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
I have said before this is a learning experience and I am in it for the long haul. I am apparently bored with what I am doing right now. I believe what I will begin to do, is try different "diet" programs when I get to this point. Because A) I am NOT giving in to my boredom and B) I know this will happen again! This is life, this is my life! I get bored easy and move on to something else, well guess what? That may have happened in the past but I REFUSE to let it happen NOW! I am down over 30 pounds!
I think I will now try actually cooking and fixing fresh Asian and Mexican food, I LOVE bold FRESH flavors, I am crazy about cilantro and fresh herbs and vegetables in general so this should be doable. I have weeks coming up where I will be working 12 hours a day so I will cook on days off and freezing, not exactly fresh, but freshly frozen! Lol! I am just going to try different things and try not to obsess I think I am doing so this week! I can't get off this site!
I think if I could sleep 8 hours in one night my whole attitude will be back to normal. I have been lucky to get 3 most nights. Got a bit more last night, but that was with help...I want to sleep with out having to take something or drink something. I have had insomnia my entire life! I remember fighting naps growing up. I would have to lay quietly while my Mom watched Perry Mason at noon every day, when I heard the music at the end I could get up and I did every day, I have no idea how many nights I have laid awake all night long!
Wow! Look at the above paragraph! Funny how writing things down will sometimes let you know exactly why you are feeling the way you are! I think I am frustrated that I actually had a drink 3 times this week, to help me sleep. I have family members who have had drinking problems in the past and I don't want to ever be like that, I don't want to need meds or a drink to do what MOST people do naturally. I know I don't have a problem but the knowledge that other family member have, just slaps me in the face when I sink to that level. I can honestly say that in the past week, I may have had 12 hours sleep IF I am lucky! So it makes eating wisely and moving more very hard, my muscles that have worked out just lay there not really relaxed all night long and they don't have the recovery time that most people get when they are sleeping.
Yes I am whining, but I can do so in my blog! Lol!!