Renew and Restart
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
so I've gained 26 pounds since I stopped following the Eat to Live program (and that happened partly because I was back on steroids and partly because my husband refused to eat the Eat to Live meals.) Blame aside...it's my fault.My fault for listening to my husband's complaints. NOW he eating pure garbage....potato chips, candy....all his efforts at controlling his diabetes and preventing his heart stents from re-clogging are down the drain.I know that HE bears a lion's share of the blame...but blaming isn't goign to help anyone.
The question is what do I do now? Honestly,as great as it was to lose all that weight, I don't feel up to cooking those complex MESSY meals day after day; night after night. These days....these PAIN-FILLED days, I want something easy. I mean we're talking like pouring milk on cereal. And eating meals like that are only asking (BEGGING) for snacking in between. I don't know what to make. I've been making home made pizza with the rest to rise frozen dough from the store....I top it with veggies but face it...not the best meal. I just ate a Marie Callender chicken potpie....Not the best nutrition and not even really satisfying. Maybe I should just STOP eating. Now that's an idea heading for destruction. Should I aim just to maintain?That is fine until my next go-round with steroids occurs.
Breathing at this weight is difficult. I have severe asthma and this is NOT going to help it any. I feel trapped. Hopeless. As bad as I felt in 20O9 when I first hesitantly joined Spark People.....and I am in about the same shape. Weak. Breathless, in Pain and fill with self doubt and self hatred. It was about this same time of year that I began way back then. How did I start? I opened the front door....and put one shaky foot in front of the other. I walked the length of my driveway. Just that far.
And then next day I walked the whole circle of my driveway.Just that far. And the next day I walked to the far side of my neighbor's house. Just that far. And yes. It made me wheezy and breathless. I had no rules but one: Every day go a little further.
Back then I had bad hips. I had four replacements and had to wear an immense hip brace because of dislocations. But I kept on walking.Right now I have terrible SI joint pain. It may be that walking is not for me. I may have to ride my recumbent bike. I have a movie to watch. Think i can watch the movie in 5 minute increments? Maybe each day i should start at the beginning to make sure I do more each day. By the end of the movie I will know the beginning by heart.
Can I regain my gumption?Can I regain (as Lyse Terqherst says: " your Want to and your How to?") Spark's foods are certainly easier than Dr Fuhrman's. When I started way back when I used Sparks menu. I know that if I do that like obeying the Bible....I will lose weight.
They've done all the math for me.And I won't have to wrack my brain to decide what to eat or what to buy....It's all right there.
Well it's a bit daunting.I did it Spark's way....and I lost weight.I did it my way....and I gained it back. My friend Dave Katz,head cardiologist at Yale University Hospital, and author of numerous books on diet and exercise told me when I asked his opinion of DrFuhrman: "He doesn't have a patent on weight loss...His ideas are not "bible"....you can attain the same results using a variety of methods" I'm sure Dave would approve of Spark People also...whatever floats your boat, ....as long as you keep rowing. The thing that drew me to Dr Fuhrman was that you didn't have to track...as long as you ate according to his guidelines...tracking wasn't necessary. I HATE tracking.but I know I need it.I just did this week's shopping.And I may not have the money to shop next week. Maybe this week I will just aim to track what I eat....Just track,don't try to follow a diet yet.