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A Letter to the Bathroom Scale

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Dear Mr. Scale:

It's time we had a little talk. Or rather, it's time I talk and you listen. For years now, you've ruled my life. It's been a long and unhealthy relationship. I let you control my emotions, my sense of value and worth, and my actions. When you "blessed" me with a reading of a 0.5 lb weight loss, I loved you and did a little happy dance and walked through the rest of the day literally feeling lighter and very proud of myself. I doubled my efforts to exercise and count calories. But when you would turn on me with a reading of 0.5 lb weight gain, I grew angry and frustrated and sometimes threw my hands up in defeat and said to hell with it; it's hopeless. But no more.

So, Mr. Scale, here's the way it's going to be from now on. Pay close attention:

I am the boss of you. You are an inanimate object. You do not have super powers. You cannot control my feelings. You cannot determine my value or worth. You cannot control my actions. You are not reliable. You are not to be trusted or depended upon. You are not very smart; in fact, you are outright dumb.

Sure, you can show whether I gained or lost some weight. But you don't know if I'm healthier, and that's what this game is all about. It's not about whether you go up or down. You can't see the gap between my waist and my jeans. You can't see the muscles beginning to show in my triceps. You don't know that the reason my jeans are too tight in the legs is because my muscles are bigger and stronger. You don't know the difference between gaining a half pound of muscle or a half pound of fat. You don't even know the difference between a few ounces of water or fat. You only know your numbers. And the numbers mean nothing without knowing me--and that is something you will never know.

So, sorry Mr. Scale, but our exclusive relationship is over. I made a pledge to my Spring 5% Challenge Team to celebrate non-scale victories. That means I'm no longer doing a happy dance when I lose some weight, and I'm no longer giving in when I gain some weight. You are just a number. I'm hanging out with a new crowd now. They're called the Non-scale Victory Gang and, man, are they are fun. I've never met a more positive group. They'll find reasons to celebrate. Don't believe me? Well, maybe this will convince you:

Passed up Whoopie Pies at the office
Increased weights for lunges and squats
Week 1 Ripped in 30 completed
12 pull ups (with a weight offset) on the pull up machine
Exercised early in the morning 3 days a week
Did not munch while preparing meals

Oh, yeah, baby! We are going to emoticon on!

I'll still stop by and visit once a week, but I'm calling the shots. Get used to it.


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