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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Time to hit the pause button on my 100 Days of Exercise.

I'm depressed and my anxiety is acting up. I know that working out usually helps, but working out when you are depressed is not easy. So talking about doing it and then if I'm not able to do it adds to my stress, adding to my depression. So it doesn't seem right to keep on my 100 Days of Exercise if I am not exercising. I'm NOT giving up, I'm taking a pause.

If this keeps up I'm going to get an appointment with my doctor, see if something needs adjusting. I don't like being like this. But I've had 8 months of no depression (not overly depressed anyway, just your normal) so it is frustrating to be depressed again. But I'm so thankful for the 8 months of being depression free!

I'm still going to try to get on and chat and blog, but not going to push myself. That will just wear me out and I've got enough going on without adding to it. I still have to put on a cheerful face for my girls and homeschool, and the rearranging of rooms isn't going to do itself. The house is in disarray because of my being depressed and unable to fully function for a couple of days. I always feel worse when the house looks awful, so "Clean ALL the things!"

Trying to do the things that cheer me or help me be peaceful. Made a loaf of bread that is about to go in the oven. I'm going to pull out my grown up coloring books (mostly mandalas some fantasy like dragons and such) and my coloring pencils and color with the kids for a while. If that doesn't work I'll take my chalk pastels and go outside and draw for a while. I'm not good at drawing, but I still enjoy it. I've got other things I do as well.

On a brighter note I found the cutest pattern for a crochet purse and splurged and bought it. I ordered the yarn and beads and it should come in by the end of the week! I imagine I'll be done with the purse sometime next week (I'll post a picture). In the meanwhile here is a picture of the one I tried making without a pattern. Totally wrong yarn for a purse and my color pattern is not so great. I think it is kinda cute and will make a great purse for my youngest daughter when I'm finished with it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon Immerse yourself in God's Word and His promises!
    2228 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14651201
    Sorry I haven't been keeping up very well the last few days. I was trying to sort through all my stuff and separate what absolutely need/want to keep and what could be given away or sold and the throw away the rest.I started Saturday and here it is Thursday and there is still stuff everywhere. My boys took a car and a van load of stuff to my friends house as her daughter offered to do a yard sale this weekend. I told them anything they don't sell to give it away. I am down to 3 shelves of books that's down from 10! I love my books! But they were taking over my home. I guess I should have been a librarian emoticon Christian books, wildlife, childrens, homeschool, every type of Bible and bible study books, diet, exercise, multiple sclerosis and more. It was hard to let so many go but I feel relived that its done now. Next is to organize what is left by holiday, craft etc and finish the utility room so I can put the bins back in place. I have to stop every 10 minutes to lay down and then get up and go again. So what I am trying to say is I know how "stuff" can take over and cause anxiety and how thinking about tackling it can cause despair. Its taken me a week to do what I used to be able to do in a day but I am looking for the gratitude that I can even do it at all. I wouldn't have even attempted it just a couple of weeks ago.
    Know I am thinking of you. Learning to be gentle and kind to yourself has been the hardest thing for me to learn and I am still working on it! Take care of yourself and do what brightens your spirit. The other stuff will eventually get done. emoticon
    Ps. Like your daughter my youngest grandaughter would love a bright cheery purse like the one you made in the picture!
    2228 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/14/2014 9:42:43 AM
    2228 days ago
  • LINDA!
    2228 days ago
    Glad to hear that you are aware of your feelings and you are honest with them. Be at peace with yourself.
    2228 days ago
    I hate depression. I'm going along great and then it rears it's ugly head. I like the activities you have to help feel better. I pray they work. emoticon
    2228 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2279933
    It's good you can be honest with yourself about what you can and can't do. I think it's a great step to put things on hold.
    Better to alleviate stress than keep the cycle going.
    I say, "Good job." A personal trainer at the gym actually said, "Start with food" and the weight loss will follow.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2228 days ago
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