Tuesday, August 19, 2014
I weighed myself this moring...in my PJs and with a full bladder....and I weghed 223 which his down from 230 very recently. Then before I got into my shower I thought "What the heck" and stepped on the scale. 221! This is the lowest I've been all summer ....and of course my asthma is acting up and I'm afraid I'm heading for the hospital. But I'm not goign without a struggle. I do NOT want to gain all that steroid weight now...just as I was getting in the groove! So I did my nebulizer, my puffers, and then sat with O2 on most of the day. If I can get this body to fight the asthma
and avoid the hospital I will be so happy. I must be very careful with activity. I cannot exercise because I can't even walk across the living room without getting winded.
Tomorrow I start a new RA med. It's a very scary one. It causes depression and can cause suicidal thoughts. Headache and nausea and vomiting and some people have lost 20% of their body weight. The drug company calls for reports on how I'm doing every day. I think this is a new drug and they are only letting a small sampling of people to try it. I know --frightening thought. But maybe a good thing. If it helps me lose weight that's great. If it doesn't mess with my liver then that is great too. If it reduces my swelling in my hands and the pain there then again, a plus. If I start to get depressed or to feel suicidal I will try to tough it out. I willl remind myself that its merely a side effect and not a real feeling or thought. If it just gets too much to handle, then I will go off the med. And at that point i will be without options. Every other biologic and DMARD cause liver problems.
Today I almost went to the pulmonologist because my breathing was so bad. BUT you know what? They will have ot take me out of here feet first if I have to go off the med because I needed steorids. And then I would gain all the weight lost and then some. NO. NO. and NO!!!!!