Had a great day yesterday! I was able to go out to lunch by myself and journal and write out what we'd gone over in therapy. Then I went and visited with the Aunt and we had an okay time too. Then off to get my mammogram, that ended up taking longer because they decided to do an ultrasound and had to take the pictures to the radiologist to make sure he had exactly what he wanted. Sounds ominous, but the tech assured me it was routine for a first time mammogram with them, so I'm not worrying about it. I get the results today, and am looking forward to having the weight of it off my shoulders. I must say my breast does ache from all the mashing and smushing of it!
I think yesterday I was in the Word more than any other day. My therapist gave me a couple of verses to look up concerning how we will be held accountable for what we say and how what we say should build people up, not cut them down. Really helps when thinking about the Aunt, how I should hold my tongue if I have anything disparaging to say about my MIL, so no commiserating with her on it. And how I will not go along if asked to not mention anything to the Aunt, like family get-togethers. Things like that put me in the middle and are not going to fly. My family used to put me in positions like that all of the time and I won't stand for it any more! I want to be honest and truthful as I can be.
I did okay on food yesterday at lunch. I knew I was going to have shrimp tacos and they are actually a pretty healthy treat. I get them 'fiesta style' which means it comes with jalapenos and pineapple and a few other fresh ingredients on it, which tastes Amazing. I talked to DH about how much I really liked being able to have that time to depressurize from my therapy appointment and time to let it all sink in and journal and such and asked if I could do so after every appointment and he said yes! It does not have to be such a meal every time (the place is not cheap, you pay for all those fresh ingredients) but something like Panera or Atlanta Bread Co., something healthy and cheap
0730 apple and 2 tbsp peanut butter
1730 stir fry
I'm still trying to get my body used to eating breakfast. Right now my body freaks out and does one of two things. It either thinks this means we should shut down and be super tired or that I should feel super hungry and eat more. I don't know why it does this, but I'll be happy when it is finally used to breakfast! Rethinking what I eat. I bought a couple of boxes of cheap cereal bars and wish I had not. I think I'll let the girls eat them. Granola bars are one thing, cereal bars, unless they are oatmeal, are too sweet. My sweet tooth can't handle sweet right now, it goes into overdrive. Eat all the sweets! So I'm trying to stay away from sweets so that I won't crave them as much.
I drove right past the turn for Burger King yesterday. I thought, after my mammogram, I needed a treat and I'd go get some onion rings. But I drove right past. Not a huge feat, but rather big for me. I'm huge on treats after appointments. I drove past the gas stations and the fast food joints and though I was sorely tempted, I kept on driving. Then when I got home and started reading my new book I was lead to this passage, 1 Corinthians 10:13
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
All this time I've been lamenting how I keep giving in to temptation and sabotaging myself and the answer is right there. I can overcome these temptations. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13) It will still be just as hard, but now I go into it knowing full well I can overcome it. It is not beyond my ability.
I'm going so slowly the snails are passing me! But I'm not standing still any more! (or going backwards) Slow is okay. It's not what I had in mind, but we can't always get what we want! Keep moving forward!