I think the last year completely exhausted me, and when school came to an end, I just didn't want to look at my computer anymore. I went through some trying times in my personal life, that I just didn't, and probably still don't completely, know how to move past. I've tried to get back on Spark, but it's been a bit challenging. I know I'm battling depression, but after trying anti-depressants last fall/winter, I really want to avoid that route. I don't want to be depressed, but I also don't want to feel hazy in my own life.
When I first graduated, I was spending any time available on the computer to look for a job. That left no time for Spark. Then I decided to put that on hold and go back to school. Then I changed my mind on that and have just decided to put job searching on hold until after Christmas.
So now what's my excuse? Well, for one, Carly has no patience for me being on the computer at most times. She sees it as mommy is distracted, so I best get into something to get her attention :-)
It's been emotionally difficult for me to finish school and not be able to land one of those jobs that I went on an interview for. I know I'm not the most patient person, but with my experience and this new degree of mine, I thought it would be a little easier.
So I'm trying to just relax right now, give myself a bit of a break, and refocus at the start of the new year. However, I've been far to relaxed in the healthy living department. I've talked and talked about getting "back at it" but have yet to do anything. I wake up with a ton of energy and motivation, but by the time I have free time in the afternoon half of that energy and motivation is gone and I make a million excuses, because of course there are other things that need done.
So today I thought I'd try something new. I thought I'd come here, write a blog, and see if browsing around on the site could renew my commitment to living a healthy life. I've also thought about signing up to run the Pittsburgh 1/2 marathon. Thought that would kick my butt into gear, like it did last year at this time when I was prepping for Indy. But then I saw the price to sign up for that, and there's just no way that is in the budget right now! SO I need motivation, but I know that it really must come from inside me. I want it, and they say that's all you need, but there truly has to be more to it. So, I'll keep on trying every day, to take little steps to get myself back on the right path.
Yeah, this blog was a little all over the place, but that's just generally how I've been the last few months
I'll end with a picture from my graduation party back in October that my family threw me. My mom made me a gown and my daughter made me the cap :-) They even played the music and had me walk the hall of the house, LOL! They knew how much I was bummed about not getting to walk when I graduated, so they made it happen for me!