Give or take a Hundred
Thursday, January 08, 2015
My daughter is very sick...flu or a bad upper respiratory infection. My husband and I were just talking about how I never get colds or viruses....But mycoplasma Pneumonia, endocarditis MRSA, or Encephla-spinal meningistis..? Bring it on! Go big or get out!
I am hoping not to catch my daughter's illness...with my asthma it would be a serious problem.
I just weighed myself. 19 lbs gone!...11 more pounds to Onederland. I was at this point last December (a year ago)...I got to Onederland....and then was hospitalized for asthma...then came the IV steroids and there went my weight loss. I need to somehow recall how much effort it took to lose that weight and how I can regain it all in the blink of an eye. (It seems that way anyway)...If you've ever been on steroids, you know that you would kill your mother if she got in the way of your food. (well maybe not...but close)
Why do I perpetually keep fighting this losing battle (lol- I like that : "Losing Battle--isn't that what we all are fighting?). It's pretty much a guarantee that I will regain with the steroids. But you know what? If I had not lost 50 lbs twice and 70 pounds once...do the math...Yes, I would weigh in the 400's! So looking at it that way...it helps me to refocus and to realize that every 20 lbs lost COUNTS in the struggle that could so easily be a lost cause. It also makes my 211 lbs seem not so bad...not such a reason for self-hatred, because had I not kept fighting, it could have been so much worse.
I plan to keep on Dr Fuhrman's plan, even if I am on IV steroids again. It is hard with hospital cuisine to stay on a program like that...but maybe if I met with the dietician and explained to her my situation, maybe she could make sure I got all the salad, raw veggies and cooked veggies that I wanted.
Maybe also I could get someone to bring me some bags of fruit. and celery and carrots. Maybe - just maybe - if I can stay on the plan, I would not gain so much weight.
There is always a way out.
That's what God says about temptation. "there is always a way out, so that you are able to bear it".
I am determined.