Getting back on track

It's late here. Almost midnight. But I can't sleep and decided I would take this time to update my blog. I haven't posted since May 2014!! Shame on me! I read my introduction to this blog and realize I am right back to square 1. I worked out very little after May. Stopped blogging on my website and basically went back into hiding. Still miserable with all this weight, still feeling lost....until now.

I'm always reading motivational and fitness related websites. I read about other peoples success and feel like that is something that is out of my reach. The work to get in shape just feels so overwhelming. My problem is I look at the big picture instead of just focusing on the small accomplishments I can make now.

When the New year started, I felt like I had to make a resolution (which I did not make). For me resolutions just end up becoming failures that start the vicious cycle of feeling unsuccessful. Which then leads to emotional eating and the guilt that goes along with it.

So the other day, I sat down with myself and started thinking of all the things I am missing out of in life. Time with friends and family, confidence, motivation, wearing clothes that actually look nice and form fitting, traveling, racing events, self esteem, the feeling one has when you are strong and healthy. My life is literally passing me by as I hide from the feeling of self worthlessness.

Well today, this moment, it stops! I have to get my life back. I am not getting any younger and I miss the person I use to love. I'm tired of reading about everyones success and need to have my own successful story. I need to transform into the person I dream of becoming.

Today (1/13) was a good day and a step in the right direction. I logged all my food in a food diary and stayed within my caloric range (1200 - 1400 calories). I actually put on my Spark activity tracker and walked 1.5 miles. I got all my steps in today. I am journaling by posting this blog. Today I held myself accountable. Got everything done I set out to do. I feel something I haven't felt in awhile.......hope :)

I need to remind myself to take it one day at a time, one step at a time. I need to appreciate the accomplishments like today, no matter how small they may be. Logging in my food is a must because it helps me to stay on track and shows me where I need to improve. That goes with fitness as well.

I know now I need to take the night before and plan my next day out. I have an app on my phone that lets me set daily goals, which I can check off when completed.

This is a complete lifestyle change for me and I need to realize it is not going to happen over night. I am one of those people that wants instant gratification and that is just not going to happen on this journey. I need to accept this and I have.

Tomorrow is a new day and I have all my tools in hand. I am going to start blogging here more often and maybe even get my website (live2win.org) back up and running.

I am excited to see where this road I have found takes me. If you would like to take this journey together, drop me an email and I will follow and support you all the way. I will end with this......"You don't have to be great to start, But you have to start to be great" ~ Zig Zagler