New Beginnings

So new beginnings. I've mentioned MANY times in my blogs that I'm no stranger to yo yo dieting or even doing things correctly. My only real road block is my own mind. I have seriously felt like I have a mental block that prevents me from dipping out of the 300's. I get close and then as if I'm hooked to a bungi cord I get dragged right back into the 350's. Ever seen the cartoons where they try really hard to grab hold of a pole or anything, to keep them from being blown backward by wind or by being attached to a large rubber band? I feel like I'm grabbing for the 200's pole and get snapped right back by my rubber band. lol. Even though I have my bad days on and off and sometimes I cannot grip my emotions tight enough to keep them even remotely close to being in check.. I feel like I'm in a better place. I know I'm going to have some seriously bad days ahead of me, especially this summer, but I think I can manage to keep myself in a good place.

As of right now I have more energy and I feel way better than I have in a while and it's only been just over 2 weeks. I've had that initial large drop of weight when you restart a program. I'm down 10lbs already and I'm hoping that it keeps coming off. I am still taking herbalife, but I'm on my own program with it. I don't do shakes every day, more like every other day. I'll do my breakfast and lunch shake and then have a normal dinner. The next day I'll just eat 3 meals and snacks if I need to, but I'm mindful of how much and what. On Weekends I don't do shakes either because my fiance loves to eat. Must be nice to have genetics that keep you tall and thin :P. He had the opposite struggle growing up. He was ridiculously tall and skinny. He couldn't gain weight no matter how hard he tried. Now he's in his 30's and it's easily come on since being with me and being promoted to a job that's no longer in the field.

Anyways, I feel really good this time around. I have had breakdown days where I've cried. I've written about some. It IS hard with a fiance who absolutely does not want to work out with you, let alone on his own. It IS hard having 3 kids who need you while working a job that's part time with unset hours at all times during the day. I have a housefull of people whos needs aren't the same as mine and finding time to do what's right for me is difficult... But I'm doing it.

As far as working out goes, I'm struggling with arm stuff. Holy crap I'm weak and nothing in the world can make me want to get through a freaking arm work out. I hate over head anything. I do like doing the ball slams, medicine ball toss and using the resistence band. I hate over head machines. Forget that business. I'm going to be like skinny arms Rob Lowe, but with bat wings. lol. SMH.