Ultimately that is why I'm doing this. I want to feel better. Not just feeling better about myself, but have my body feel better, not feel so tired all the time. I wish I could curl up like the woman in the picture.
I didn't eat much yesterday, but what I did eat was fried, so didn't do so good. I mostly ate appetizers. Won't do that next week. I realized that I go to the same place to eat every Wednesday. Don't know how that happened, I guess familiarity is nice when your going to be journaling about therapy. If I feel up to it, I'll go someplace new next week. But honestly I don't know where to go. This is a little family owned Mexican place I go to, or I go to the Thai place next door. Neither are very busy, so I guess I like that. I always have the shrimp tacos, fiesta style.
I bought a book called Sewing School and am going to teach myself and my kids how to sew. That can be our art project. I'm also teaching them how to knit, they are starting out knitting baby blankets for their dolls. My youngest is so excited to be learning to knit, but she only want to do like three knits and then she's done. I warned her I'm not going to do it for her. I figure it will take a while, and a lot of patience on my part, but it will be well worth it. My Mom didn't teach me those skills, how to cook, crochet, clean, sew, knit or any of it. The first time I picked up an iron was in the military. I want to teach my girls these life skills so that they have them if they want them.
Going to a friends house today, we were supposed to have lunch yesterday, but they only have one car and her hubby needed it. So I'm taking some hummus and chips to her place and some yogurt smoothies for the kids and I'll give her present to her today (last week was her birthday). She's gets cold really easily so I bought her some super warm socks and an cute sweater. I'm thinking about giving her a cowl I made, but I just can't make up my mind if I'm going to keep it or not. I love it, I think it is beautiful, but it goes with nothing I own. I don't know, we'll see.
Therapy yesterday was good. I managed to finish several projects that I've had going for a while (see previous blogs) and it felt really good to finally finish them. But it wore me out, the next day I couldn't do much. It was like I'd finished these few projects and that took all of my emotional energy and now I just couldn't do it. Why did it take so long to finish these projects? I think because seeing the finished projects would show me that I can. I'm able. I have talent. I can do this. And it has been firmly ingrained in me that I can't. I'm unable. And facing that I really am able, that's harder than it sounds. You would think I would be overjoyed to learn that I really can, and a part of me is marveling that I can. But it is also hard to face because for so long I've been dealing with those inner voices that say that I can't. So next step? Keep trying to make bagels, I know I can do it if I find the right recipe, I've gotten really close to it. Make a baby blanket to donate to Rock Goodbye Angel, a charity for those who are dealing with infant loss (I know the person who created it)
Today's Weight: 244
workout: (will update when done)