Day 39. I should be seeing some results by now. But instead I'm learning more about myself, so that will do instead. The next 30 days, I want to see results on the scale though!
I've learned that I need to work out in the morning or I will forget till it is too late to work out (ie, I've already gone to bed).
I've learned my eating is out of control and I'm going to have to take drastic measures to contain it. I'm going to go back to having the Juice Plus shakes, they kept me from being hungry.
I've learned that I have a massive sweet tooth I need to tame. I'm going to cut out all sugar except for in my coffee. I'm going to have the Juice Plus shakes, which are sweet, and I'll have the Juice Plus gummies for when I have a sweet craving. I'm going to make my copycat Kind bars again and I'll have those too (they have a drizzle of chocolate on them).
When I get too anxious, I eat. My anxiety feels like it needs to be fed, but I've been feeding it the wrong thing. I've been giving it food instead of prayer and that needs to end.
I'm on too many Spark Teams. I need to trim it down to just the ones that I participate in the most. I feel bad when I don't participate in one and I don't need to be spending so much time on the computer! I feel disconnected and I want to connect with the people on SP!!
I don't have enough energy. I'm fatigued all the time. My juicing seems to help so it may be a vitamin B thing, or it could be one of the meds I'm taking. Or it could be that I'm not eating right or exercising.
In the military I learned never to present a problem unless I had a solution, so here are my solutions:
I will set extra alarms and get up at 0540. I'll set an additional alarm at 0620 telling me to go work out. I'll either sleep in my workout clothes or I'll have them set out. I'll put my socks and shoes in the kitchen by the table along with some ear buds so I can listen to music.
I can control what I eat and how much. I will go on Juice Plus's Transform 30. Where you go off of sugar (except my coffee) and dairy and wheat for 30 days. That should be a good jumpstart for me. I'll make my shakes out of water or almond milk or rice milk. Maybe even coconut milk. Anything but cow milk. I'm lactose intolerant anyway, so going off of dairy should help with the gas that I usually have due to it.
I already listed what I'm going to do for my sweet tooth. the JP shakes are sweet, my coffee with have sugar in it and I'm going to order extra gummies just for munching on when I have a sweet tooth. If I can just stick to that I'll be okay I think.
I haven't been taking my anxiety meds as often as I need to because it makes me drowsy. Drowsy or not I need to take it. I also need to start doing things that calm me down and help me center, like coloring and crocething and such. I need to stop removing myself fro the situation, unless it is necessary, and start doing more proactive things instead.
I already cut out three Spark Teams, and am looking at maybe culling two more. I enjoy my Spark Teams so it is a hard choice to make. For now I'm going to stick with those three being gone and work from there. I do Spark Coach most mornings, which I've only been doing half-heartedly. Time to get my butt in gear and really do this!
I ordered the book Made To Crave, and I'm hoping to have time to read it. I've only had time for my group study and therapy reading so far, and not even much of that. I've been so scatter-brained.
I'm starting on organizing the house. I've been watching Alejandra.tv (sp?) and it's been really motivating. If I get out of the clutter I am in I want to buy her videos and start working on that. For now I'll just call it early Spring Cleaning, lol. Throwing out stuff that I've not touched since I got it or that have been in boxes for years now. If I've not needed it for the 4 years I've been here, I'm not going to need at all.
Making school my main priority is key. But I don't want to spend all day on it! All that is required by law is 4.5 hours a day, and I don't want to do much more than that, but it is the priority, so if something doesn't get done there, it trumps everything else I'm wanting to do. Just need to make sure I know that time with the kids and doing school is the most important part of my day and no cleaning or working out is to ever come before that.
I'm just tired of this. Tired of being fat, tired of having a messy house, tired of the cluttered, unorganized mess that has become my life. I'm seriously thinking about not homeschooling next year, just because I'm so tired. I know, selfish reason, but I really need a break from it all. Recharge my batteries, so to speak.
I have my solutions, I need to start implementing them! Let nothing stand in my way, not even me. I had a realization the other day that it is me that is standing in the way of my success and goals. I just need to get out of my own way and stop sabotaging myself.