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Day 42

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

emoticon I ate WAY too much last night. DH made this pork and pear dinner that was delish, and I ate too much. I can't do this to myself. Eating that much is not good for me, and I know it. Just another example of me getting in my own way. If I can get my portion distortion fixed, I know I'll start losing weight.

emoticon The scale has made me so unhappy! I promised myself I would not reach 250. I've skated super close, at 249, but today the scale said 250 on the dot. I hope this is the wake up call that I needed to get me to realize that I need to take fixing my portion distortion as crucial to my weight loss!

emoticon Another wake up call was that one of the contestants on the last Biggest Loser was 250-ish! OMG I'm big enough to go on biggest loser. emoticon That is not something I would do, but knowing that I'm big enough to go on the show is kind of a bummer.

emoticon My eating out every Wednesday is nice for the most part, I enjoy being able to sit down and journal, but I still do get self conscious, eating by myself. So, I ordered myself a bento box! I've always wanted one, and I had the extra money, so why not!? This way, when it gets warmer, I can go sit at a park and eat and journal. Plus I'll need it for next year when my oldest DD starts Essentials. It means we'll have to stay for an hour for lunch and then her class would start and last for two hours (on Friday's when we go to Classical Conversations). So we'll all need nifty lunch boxes emoticon I love fun lunch boxes. I'll post a pic of it when it comes in!

emoticon I've almost finished my very first baby blanket! I've already got blanket #2 started as well. I'm going to donate them to Rock Goodbye Angel. I've also got a blue cowl/infinity scarf that I've almost got finished and I'm going to make a black and white one as well. I love fall and winter months! I love being able to wear scarves and hats and gloves. emoticon I'll post a pic of the baby blanket when I finish it.

So today is therapy Wednesday. Don't know if I'm going to work out or not... I don't have time to work out on Friday's, but today I do have time, but I'm going to be out all day and I'll need the extra energy... I have my psychiatrist appointment today and he is always running hours behind... I'll be exhausted by the time I leave. I think I'll skip working out today just in case. If I still have enough energy when I get home, I'll know I can work out next week. Thank goodness DH does not have praise band practice tonight, then I'd be up till late.

One really great thing about today is that Wednesday's I let myself have a latte. It's comforting to have a nice hot drink to have during therapy. I do love coffee, but usually I can only drink it during the mornings. If it gets super cold then I can have it later. That's a far cry from the several pots a day I used to drink when I was in the military!

emoticon DH has promised me that after we get teeth taken care of (his are really bad, and I have a few cavities as well) and pay taxes, we'll start saving and get my service dog!! I'm so excited! I was leaning toward not getting one, but this last week I've gone out of my normal routine a LOT and I realized that my anxiety is still really bad. I just was in my happy bubble and going places I feel comfortable going so it didn't seem as bad. I still have a hard time even going those places because for one, I have anxiety driving, and two even with familiar places I have anxiety, jut not as bad as with places I'm not familiar with. They are expensive (the service dogs), but I've found one place that will work with me on financing and another where, if I'm able to do some of the training at home they have a program that doesn't cost as much.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LINDA!
    I hope that you had a good appointment today. Glad that you are going to be able to save soon for a service dog. emoticon
    1973 days ago
    Very good journal. I need to do more of it I think. We are all at different places in our journey. I have slipped an slid all over for a very long time. I really feel I am gaining as for as strength in areas from being here and having you all for help. My exercise is pretty much an oh I got to get that in each day. Sometime I think I have gotten to love the effects . It is still hard to get going at times. I love that you are making blankets and scarves. Take time each day for God and yourself. I think then other things fall into place with time. Thank you for your honesty that is a strength in its self. Hug sandy

    1973 days ago
    Don't beat yourself up. Take each moment and day one at a time. emoticon
    1973 days ago
    New Dy, Fresh start..... emoticon
    1973 days ago
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