So today was a great day in the gym....I crushed my workout.....
But it was also one of my most frustrating days in the gym in a long time.....I was surrounded by....
Now I love my gym and I love the people that go there....but today.....today was a day!
I have the utmost respect and concern for anybody out there trying to workout, train, or just get in shape. I was a pack a day smoking couch potato for many, many years and I know how tough and intimidating it can be to go to a gym and start an exercise program. It took me many years to build up the confidence in myself and my abilities and I never ever look down on anyone making an effort to get in the gym to improve.
But the posers! The annoying ones who have just read the latest issue of Muscles and Fitness and now strut around staring at themselves in the mirror, hogging every piece of equipment around, grunting, talking, doing one-legged bicep curls on a Bosu ball in a squat rack.....with absolutely no manners whatsoever! These guys just got to me today.
Because we all know, "Manners maketh man"
So how did this all start. Well there I was minding my own business at the squat rack, when all of a sudden some dude walks by and throws his towel on the stack of 45 lb plates on my rack. Now one of the things you don't do to somebody using a squat rack is to use said rack as your personal towel storage device. Then he grabbed a pair of 20 lb dumbbells, crouched down to the ground, and started doing bicep curls right in front of me. He looked like a constipated frog!
But I ignored him and went about my business. He soon removed the towel and walked over to do dips. Meanwhile, I continued my squats and ended the day squatting 335 lbs feeling pretty good. On my second one of those, I stood up exhausted, saw that same guy at the pull up bar, and an overwhelming sense of compassion came over me. He wasn't a douchebag, he was just untrained in the ways of gym etiquette, a young kid who's father never taught him the proper use of the squat rack. I felt like Buddha rising from under the Bodhi tree, suddenly awakening to a great sense of compassion for all the world's souls. Yes, I should be kind to this unknowing, unawakened dreamer.
5 minutes later he comes by and once again throws his towel back on the stack of 45 lb plates on my squat rack just as I'm about to do 4 reps of 275 lbs. I take my earphones out and signal over to him gently, "excuse me, but it's quite distracting when someone puts a towel on the weights when someone is using the squat rack"
He looks over at me like I'm from Mars, gives me the "jerk face", then says "Wuz you gonna' use all dose weights?" eyebrows arched, grip tightening on his 20 lb dumbbell. All of a sudden Buddha is gone; Genghis Khan rides into town. "Yeah dude, I'm about to set some frikkin' PRs here and it's pretty friggin' rude to lay your crap on a squat rack right when someone is about to lift some heavy-ass weights, so I'd appreciate it if you'd put your towel on the floor like everyone else!"
We stared at each other for another 5 seconds, then he picked up his towel....and put it on the squat rack next to me where another gym douche was doing barbell curls....with no weights on the bar. He, of course, said nothing.
Now if this was the only incident that happened today, I would not be writing this blog. But today there was a veritable invasion of douches....and each one of them found me.
I went and did my bench presses, then came back to the rack to do overhead presses and deadlifts. As I start pressing 155 lbs over my head, the 3 douche stooges show up and start doing bicep curls right in front of me, hogging the mirror with their little dance-capades. It was pretty cute watching them curl those 20 lb dumbbells, knees flexing, a little pop at the top of the curl as they stared at their biceps in the mirror (they're biceps stared back apparently). Each time they blew out a big puff of air from the explosive force required to bend their elbows so forcefully hefting those 20 lbers.
Yes, the Curl Bro's were in town! Somehow the message must have gotten posted on douche-book for everyone to come in and do bicep curls today, occupying every mirror, every piece of equipment, regardless of what it was designed for, and doing endless variations of bicep curls and throwing their weights to the ground!
I took it as a sign from God to work on my patience today. I pressed, I deadlifted, I tried not to get annoyed or worked up when one of these morons stepped right in front of me just as I was about to pick 365 lbs of iron off the floor. I closed my eyes, I breathed deep, I focused on all my cues to get my technique right, I tightened up and pulled, imagining myself in some far off place where my very survival depended on lifting those weights off the ground.
Now there are many variations of gym douches out there. so, in trying to maintain an informed electorate, I have compiled a few of my favorite sites for my SP buds to peruse at their leisure.....the overall message; Don't be that Guy (Gal)!!
Have a great night Spark buds!