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A New Six Week Start

Friday, April 17, 2015

4-17-15 Day Two
Yesterday I finally did it. I put together a perfect day. I went out to eat at a new restaurant where they had all kinds of yummies. I had a salad.: a giNORmous salad….and was satisfied. While a friend was driving me to the pharmacy, DH texted me that he had a piece of pizza with my name on it. OOOOhh boy. That one was tough. I wanted that pizza for dinner. Instead I had zucchini soup and the remains of a bowl of “pudding” made with almond paste (left over from making almond milk) and avocado and cocoa and dates. Probably pretty high in calories….but it kept me away from the pizza. I was satisfied. In the night last night I had a small bowl of Eric’s cereal. Which is not perfect, but considering how much I often eat at night, it wasn’t horrible.

Today I might go to the Forklift (our favorite cafe) with the kids. What should I have? A yogurt parfait? No. That’s dairy. Veggie hash without the cheese? It’s cooked in oil…but that may be my only choice. Whole wheat waffle with fruit on it? Maybe. Salad? Maybe I will just make a smoothie here at home for my breakfast and then have a pot of tea there.
This morning I weighed myself. Yesterday I weighed 215. Today: 213. YAY!!! I know some of that is water. I urinated twice yesterday when I wondered if I was ever going to stop peeing.
I got two bunches of beets which I boiled and skinned and then pickled (all but two of the beets. Those two I’m saving to shred on my salads.) I ate some of the pickled beets yesterday. I thought they would be more crisp than they were but they were still yummy. The big jar had a bit more than a quarter cup of sugar and a quarter tsp of salt, but it was a huge jar so a serving would have very little sugar.

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS DILIGENCE FEELS. It’s time to stop feeding on failure.

I have been preaching Eat to Live for months, yet have failed to live it ever since I quit following after my 30 lb loss over a year ago. I cannot stop at any point in the journey and QUIT because the day that I do that, I will begin to regress and will regain all the weight I had lost. I need to work it into my brain that this method of eating is a life time commitment. It is to pursue my health, and that pursuit does not stop when you meet your weight goal. The thing is—I’m not sure how much I desire a healthy body. What would that mean?
1) A reduction in pain
2) Possibly driving again
3) Being able to exercise
4) Being able to work again.
5) Being able to clean my own house again.
Why are those things so terrifying to me? They are not unpleasant things really (providing I had a job I liked) . They scare me because I am judging my ability to carry them out by this sick, painful body of mine. I cannot separate pain and work in my mind. An increase in work equals an increase in pain. Pain has brainwashed me and convinced me that I will never again be able to trust my body to accomplish anything physical. And maybe that is true. Maybe I will look good, but still have too much pain to do much else. It may be enough to look better and to be able to do some exercises (provided my asthma has also improved). I am bound to feel somewhat better at least. Maybe better enough to get off of these danged steroids.

I figure, based on my results the last time I did the six week program, that I will be able to lose 24 pounds in the next six weeks. That exceeds SparkPeople's dictum of "2 pounds max a week"....but Dr Fuhrman says normal weightloss in the first six weeks is 20-30lbs. So I made a goal of the 24 lbs...I'M GOING TO MEET AND BEAT THAT GOAL!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
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    1981 days ago
    You go, girl! Everybody needs a plan that works for them, and one plan does not fit all. It sounds like you know what works for you. So go for it! I know you can succeed!

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    1982 days ago
    Dr. Fuhrman has some pretty high expectations!!! Whoa...
    1982 days ago
  • _LINDA
    I do remember when your asthma seemed to be helped when you were able to exercise -you started feeling stronger and weren't having so many attacks. Unfortunately, its a vicious cycle -the asthma and your condition leaving you too weak to exercise. Unable to exercise you can't get stronger. I know all about the pain. Right now its the highest its ever been for me, getting attacked from all areas of my body, from the painful bumps on my feet, the bad ankle, right up to shoulders so painful a movement sends a spike of pain shooting down my arm. The back is a constant reminder that there is bad news there. The struggle to do things with a flaring left hand (usually my go to strength and lifting arm and hand) is now my weakest and most painful. My physiotherapist did a strength check and noticed how much weaker my left arm has gotten. The right arm is now doing more but with a thumb that is still weak from nerve damage. So why don't I just throw my hands up in the air and just give up its not worth pushing through all this pain? Because I know it gets even worse if I just sit or lay around. Because I still feel better being fit. I am proud I can walk 9 km in a day in spite of having worked out for 177 minutes in the morning. There are healthy people who can't do as much. Once I get past the initial super pain block, the moving becomes easier, the cranky joints loosen up as much as they can, which is why i just keep going and going, because once I stop, the pain comes rushing back. I wish I had pain meds that worked. I wish I had a healthy body. But I don't. I have to do the best with what I was given. And I will. Because mentally it makes me stronger. And I need to be as mentally strong as possible to deal with the rapid advancing of these diseases. I need to be as physically fit as possible. Because that wheelchair is looming.
    You need to be as strong as possible. And you are. The biggest weapon you have in your arsenal is fueling your body properly. Treating it with the respect it deserves. Then maybe the healthy eating will bring some changes in your body to allow you to do a little exercise. Just a small start. A careful movement, a safe one.
    You have got the ball rolling. Build on it. Own it. Live it!
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    1983 days ago
    Good to have a plan to get back on track. Keep us posted on your progress.
    1983 days ago
  • PGHP31CK
    Cheering you on! I know you can do it!
    1983 days ago
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    1983 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.