Monday, July 06, 2015
Busy day today! I've got to go get the Mirena put in at 0815 and then go see my psychiatrist at 1000. I'll probably go hang at Waffle House till it's time for my 2nd appointment. I've also got to go to the craft store and get some yarn for a yarn project I'm going to start while I'm recuperating. It's called a scoodie! It's a hood that also has a scarf attached to it. It's very cute. I want a scoodie pattern that has bear ears for my kids, but Etsy keeps telling me my email is not real and won't let me register. So I have to look on Ravelry, and I don't like any of theirs. Oh-well, maybe I'll have found one by the time I'm done with my scoodie.
I did okay on food yesterday. I ate some eggs for breakfast, which totally screwed me up, my nausea and gallbladder pain were pretty bad. I swore no more real food. Then I didn't eat till dinner time. So I had some vegetable soup. It has solid food, but it's all veggies so I figue it wouldn't hurt. Then I got to cravings sweets and had a small ice cream cone. I wish I hadn't of. I didn't get any pain because of it, just a very uncomfortable feeling. Plus the guilt of eating something I'm not supposed to. One of these days I'll learn. I'm hoping it's today.
I'm going to keep at it though. I won't give up. Next time I'll remember to pray for help when I'm craving something that badly. As Lysa Terkeurst put it; I'm tearing down my tower of impossibility and using it to brick by brick, prayer by prayer build my path to victory. My tower of impossibility happens to be food.
I've felt for so long like this is impossible. My Mom struggled for her entire life after she had her last child, me, with weight loss problems. So I thought it impossible to lose weight. But now I'm realizing all the mistakes she made. She did every fad diet that came around, but only for a little bit, then she would fall off of the diet wagon and have to start over again. She only did things like yoga, but no cardio. I look up to my Mom in so many ways. She was the most positive person I've ever met, so caring and kind... but dieting was not her thing. I'm seeing more and more people I know lose the weight, so I know it can be done. But you have to really work at it. And I'm going to, I am.