The Dreaded Before picture. Again.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
The part of my mind that wants to be rational is trying to reason since I posted a before picture once, like four years ago, I shouldn't have to do it again,... right?
That journey is not this journey. And while I'd love to say that because I am the same weight it's the same thing, I know it's not. My body has changed. I have changed. I can't just close my eyes and blink it out of existence.
Taking these pictures today were painful. Not only because I realize that I still suffer from body dysmorphia (thinking I am smaller than I am!) but this is a picture of how far I've fallen. I look at my after picture and look at my picture now and I just want to cry.
But I am not going to cry.
I am going to try to get mad and I am going to work it out.
Really, I don't want to post this. I really really dont. You've guys have already seen my worst and you've seen my best. .. Going from best to bad again.. .. It stinks!
But that is life. That is how it is. I am going to fight to get back there. I am going to suck up my pride and DO IT.
I would also ask some of you to be brave with me. Take your before pictures and post them. Take the NOW pictures and post them. Take one and go forward from here. No self hating. Only accepting and moving forward. Have a plan of attack and attack it. See the things you want to change, but love yourself in the process. We aren't doing this change to be worthy of love, we are doing this change BECAUSE we love.
Important to remember. And trust me, I am going to be thinking about that every time I look back on my page.. :/