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Mount Sylvia

Monday, July 27, 2015

(An oldie but goodie from my private blog!)

Do your clothes reproduce in the night while you're sleeping? Mine do. I think it may have been set into action by Onyx having given birth in a laundry basket that first time. Some kind of wild cat ho' mojo kicked in, and now, as soon as the lights go out, my clothes replicate themselves. Not the ones that fit me, mind you, or the ones that don't need week-long soaks in industrial strength spot remover. Those, it would appear, are sterile. The only way I can add to those is by shopping. And, not wanting them to be lonely among all the wildly copulating cast-offs, shop I do. I'm that kind of woman.

But meanwhile, the nasty ones keep multiplying. I have a closet, two chests of drawers, and a chifferobe. At least two drawers are devoted to mateless socks. We're not going to talk about the drawer that's dedicated to hell week underwear, because there are men reading this, and we're discreet that way. I also have two rocking chairs that are damned near upended by the stuff that won't fit into the closet anymore. And Mount Sylvia on my bedroom floor is growing foothills.

My task during my two days off has been to ruthlessly sort through everything. My wash machine is smoking. Bags are stuffed full for the Salvation Army. More bags are destined for the trash. (Poor people don't do grease stains.) And by tonight, Mount Sylvia will be razed. The topography of my bedroom will be restored to its original state. And I'm sleeping with the light on tonight, because I'll be damned if I'm going through this again, just because some slut of a crinkle skirt got ideas.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I got the spot remover off the black market from a one-eyed grifter named Boris. I'd tell you more, but he also knows where I live.
    1396 days ago
    Oh Slyvia, I LOVE YOUR HUMOR!!! Although, to be certain, I must be careful talking about Mount Julia in my bedroom, because my husband does occasionally wander by in his rare forays into his Spark account elsewhere ...and he'd, of course, take the other meaning of "Mount", not the "Mountains in Colorado" kind. Sigh.

    And where do you find this industrial strength spot cleaner? I hope it doesn't have fumes. We have hard water, and so called laundry soap doesn't touch the oil slicks on the "bibbed-less alley" on the fronts of my shirts where food escaped my mouth. I was just thinking this morning, when I observed my black hoodie with three gaping huge oil stains that got dryer-set into a permanent pattern, that I really needed to do the FlyLady thing and donate them to the GoodWilly (Starvation Army has closed too many of their thrift stores and so are not as accessible to me as GoodWilly.)...

    So yea been on SparkPeople and wandering from plan to plan - sounds like this Dr. Bernstein or whatever you said it was, may be a more simplified way to get into KETO again. The KETO Clarity book is good I guess but in some ways I feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. So I've done nothing and kinda slid backwards towards regaining the 20 pounds I lost last year on KETO ... that needs to stop!!

    I'm off to go read the other blogs you wrote, so I can laugh again. Then I need to go poke another load into the washing machine.

    1397 days ago
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    2041 days ago
    This is laugh-out-loud, fall-in-the-floor laughing funny! emoticon I, too, have some of those sterile clothes in my closet. Wonder how they get around?! As for the slutty ones, leaving the light on is ingenious, except for the fact that they have the patience to wait until you leave the room/house for shopping, work, gardening, or any of those none essential activities.

    Thank you so much for lifting spirits and sharing humor. emoticon emoticon
    2042 days ago
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