Sunday, August 02, 2015
My kiddos love a good day at the water park, and up until this summer I seriously would wear knee length shorts with my control-paneled-solid-black-on
e-piece-don't-notice-me swimsuit any time I took them there or to the pool. I think the imminence of my 40th birthday (this September!) is what caused me to declare this the summer of "screw it!" in terms of my attire. Is my body really so offensive to the general public that I should dress uncomfortably in order to spare anyone the sight? I doubt it, but even so, I finally, finally don't care. Goodbye, heavy gym shorts and/or knee length t-shirt. I sure wish it hadn't taken me 39.8 years to get to that point. This summer, armed with a better attitude and wearing lighter clothing, I've found myself much more able to focus on my kids, focus on their joy instead of my shame. Yesterday I looked around the water park and saw bodies of every shape and size, and I realized something I wish I had figured out a lot sooner: I have never judged anyone else's body by the crazy standards by which I've judged my own. I've never said, nor would I dream of saying, the cruel things to someone else that I've said to the mirror. So I'm thinking, chances are, no one at the water park or the pool is looking at me thinking, "Wow, she should put on some knee-length shorts!" Would you think that about someone else? I'll bet not. I bet hardly any one would. Lots of us are too busy hating ourselves. Again, I know I must lose weight. I want my next 40 years to be healthier than my first 40, but this is the summer I stop dressing for what others might be thinking. From now on, I dress to be comfortable and to have fun.