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Day 216

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

emoticon Today I weigh in at: (will update)

emoticon I slipped, I goofed. I knew I should not have eaten that food and I did it anyway. What is awful about it is that I had just read a chapter in Made To Crave where Lysa says that no food tastes as good as victory feels. No food is worth feeling defeated. I do feel defeated. I had my meals planned out. But I love popcorn and I made some for the kids, so just a little couldn't hurt right? Well that lead to my husband bringing home Zaxby's chicken strips and fries and buttered texas toast. I had my dinner well thought out and planned, but then the rationalizations and excuses popped in. But deep down I knew it was wrong of me. Some people are addicted to alcohol or drugs, some people's food addictions is binging or purging. My food addiction seems to be not being able to say no to food and eating instead of dealing with my emotions. That's not an excuse, that is a harsh reality. But I've given up addictions before (smoking) and I can do it again, I know I can! emoticon

emoticon So today I'm going to make my meal plan, which may have to include eating out, as I have an 1115 appointment. And I have to go to the store for some school supplies. I may end up eating at the higher end of my daily calorie goals, but I'm going to stay in range!! I'm not going to give up, I'm going to take this one meal, one choice at a time!

emoticon Almost done with my coffee, so I'll go work out. I'm going to try for at least 10 minutes of my DVD and then 30 minutes on WiiFit. I was talking with DH last night and I think during the Fall I will start going to the park and walking their one mile track in place of the WiiFit. This will help me transition into walking in my neighborhood for Winter. My neighborhood is full of sharp, steep hills. No way I can walk those hills now, but by Winter I will be able too!

emoticon I did some of my strength training wrong yesterday and ended up with a sore lower back. Not good! I was supposed to have a chair for stabilization and I didn't. Will fix that today!

emoticon I'm really excited for homeschool to start, and then I'm not at the same time. It's the selfish part of me that is not happy. I could be taking lessons on baking or whatever if I sent the kids to school. I could have the house clean and caught up. I could have hours all to myself. But I love my kiddos and I don't mind spending all day with them. Teaching them can be awesome and amazing, And the style of learning we use, classical, is wonderful and so good for them! Plus, they get to be kids longer, all of their friends are homeschooled too and so there is none of this growing up too fast or wrong types of peer pressure. Don't get me wrong, they still grow up too fast. But I know they are learning the right types of things. I'll have all of the time in the world when they grown up to take classes on sewing or whatnot, but right now I need to enjoy them being kids. So I still have that selfish part of me that wishes I could have the time and freedom to take classes and all that jazz, but I'm not going to listen to it.

Today is going to be another busy day!

emoticon wash and iron all of DH's dirty clothes (there is a LOT of it!)
emoticon sort the kids clothes
emoticon clean the kitchen and laundry room
emoticon get all my workout in
emoticon go to the store for school supplies
emoticon Sort school supplies and put thing in binders that need to
emoticon read the beginnings of each of my 'books' for the kids school
emoticon Go to the meeting tonight for the kids school and take notes!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LIVINGLOVINLIFE
    That wasn't too bad and you realize what you did wrong. Get back on track. You can do this I know you can. Hugs and have a great day.
    1708 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14651201
    I smiled when I read your blog today, the chicken strips and fries would have been calling my name too! I had a similar day- with food i wasn't expecting being under my nose. I had done great with my food and was nearing the end of the day, everything in order, then my sons come in to watch tv with me and they are eating bacon and cheddar mashed potatoes that the older one made for them. I did good and only tasted a tad on the end of my youngest spoon as he kept telling me how good they were and I should try them-test 1 passed! Test 2 comes along a couple hours later because they decide to make themselves biscuits and gravy for dinner. They offered me a plate and I thanked them and said no, gently reminding them I am watching what I eat-test 2 passed, right? Not quite- the youngest comes in with his plate and says he can't eat anymore and do I want his last 1/2 biscuit with the gravy on it. I caved and ate it :o( Now my resolve is growing weaker since I slipped mind you, temptation 3 starts- I can smell my husband cooking something not long before bed and he comes in with 2 buttery perfectly cooked grilled cheese sandwiches and hands them to me on a plate. Test 3 failed. I ate both of them plus some candy that was in the house after eating the sandwiches.
    Mind you, I could lay in here for days or weeks and no one wants to shop or cook or asks me if i need anything. I feel like I have a hangover this morning from eating the candy and from eating so late at night. I tracked everything and wound up almost 1000 calories over the high end of my calorie range for the day!
    Not today-i am preparing myself for battle today whether temptation comes again or not. I was caught off guard yesterday because it rarely happens that the men in this house do anything like that. emoticon I generally have to ask, sometimes repeatedly, if I need something that I can't get myself emoticon

    1708 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/4/2015 10:39:06 AM
  • no profile photo ELRIDDICK
    Thanks for sharing
    1708 days ago
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