I slipped. I goofed. I did not use the coping skills I have learned. I did not use the slip as motivation to do better. I just ate. And ate. I know that I cannot fill any disappointment or emotional gap with food, yet I tried, yet again, to do so. I weighed in, and the two pounds I had been so very happy to lose, were back. I felt crushed, absolutely low as low can be. So I ate and I did a bare minimum workout. So the weight is probably really back, and I did this to myself with backward thinking.
Make that three pounds, I just weighed in at 252.3
You know, I added weights this week and maybe its muscle that I've gained. I just know that tomorrow's weigh in is going to hurt. Well, hopefully I can learn from this situation and never do it again!
I'm going to work extra hard today. I know that won't make up for the excess calories from yesterday, but it might help me to feel better.
It just really shows me what a food addict I am. First thing goes wrong and I turn back to my drug of choice: food.
So I am going to turn this around. I'm going to work out, as my husband would put it, like a woman obsessed. I'm going to push myself farther on my workout video, I'm going to do pilates instead of yoga, I'm going to do at least 10 more minutes of cardio. I'm going to turn this situation around and use it to motivate myself to do better.
Tomorrow is when I post about my weigh in on FB. I'm going to be honest about it. I'm going to put that number down because if I'm not honest I'll feel like I can hide, and that will not do me any good. I'm already hiding from the world behind this fat. I need to break free from that.
I'm going to go look back over my week's food and see if I can find what I did wrong. Thinking about it I know of one thing I did wrong twice. Though I allowed for the extra calories, I had starbucks frappacino. Not good. Nothing but empty calories there. But it is a treat I allow myself when I go to therapy. No more, I'll take a thermos of unsweet tea with lemon instead. I let myself eat out, fast food when DH brought some home. No more, I'll politely turn it down and go eat some zoodles or an apple instead. I ate buttered popcorn, which put me over my calories. No more, I'll pick up some kernels that I can put in the air popper, no butter or salt added! I went over my calorie range by about 300 calories on 3 different days. No more, it may not seem like much, and it is less than I was eating before, but I'm not going to go over my calories unless if is a very special occasion and even then I will work out more on the week that I do to try to make up for it.
I'm going to pick up twice as many squash and zucchini this week so that I can have them for lunch and dinner on some days. I'm going to pick up some frozen strawberries and fresh bananas for my shakes and I'm going to drink them for one meal. I did really good the first three days of this week and then I let myself get lax. I see that. And then yesterday I went overboard on food. I didn't eat a bunch of candy, I ate mostly healthy stuff, but the amount of which I ate is not acceptable.
This next week my goal is to lose the 3 pounds I've gained back. To workout extra hard and try to make it through the whole workout DVD. To stay at or below my calorie range on Spark and log everything I eat. To not give myself food treats such as Starbucks. To find a healthy alternative for the foods that I love.