Making My Journey Just About Me Not The Scale
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
I am continuing to use my check off sheet daily. The biggest plus with using the check off sheet is that it is so easy. The creation of the sheet itself at the beginning was just a loose guideline for nutrition and self care. If I want more specific information, I can use the sheet in conjunction with the Spark nutrition tracker or I can keep a running list of foods consumed. What was an unexpected bonus was the sense of freedom and reduction of pressure that I feel from taking the focus off of that number on the scale. Making my focus just about me - my health, my emotional well being and how I feel physically - is so freeing! The scale can be a helpful tool in meeting some of my goals. However, my journey isn't about my daily relationship with the scale. Many times that is just what it turns into.
Yes, I want to loose weight, but is that all this journey is about? I am almost ashamed to say that at some points in time, the answer has been yes. It is almost like I have this idea in my head that life will magically become everything I have always dreamed about, if only I can lose X amount of weight. Even to my own ears, that sounds so superficial! I am so much more than the number on the scale. Do I really want to define myself and have others base their perception of me based strictly on my weight? This is something that much of society uses to judge people on and something that I strongly object to and yet...
here I am, using my weight and how I look to judge my own progress and worth. Sure, I could blame my own behaviors on the constant barrage of mixed media messages. I could say that over time, society's subliminal messages have had an influence over my thinking. But hey, who is in charge of me any way? Me. I am in charge of my own thoughts and behaviors.
So let's take this journey back to making the focus just about me. It is about my health, my emotional well being and how I feel physically. Period. For those of us who were brought up to put ourselves last - or at least after everyone else - that is a lot of attention just on myself. In the beginning, I had a lot of difficulty putting any focus on myself. Things might start out being about me, but they always managed to somehow get sidetracked and someone or something else took the spotlight. It has been a real struggle at times to maintain any kind of focus on myself. Keeping the focus on my own needs is key to my own success.
So what are my own needs anyway? I think that is a huge and important question. I need to feed my mind, body and spirit. By feed, I mean nourish to establish health. That means to strive for a healthy body and strive to do those things that maintain my health. I want to feel good. My mind needs to be stimulated - kept fresh and creative - by making contacts with other people and new information. My spirit and my personal beliefs need to be refreshed, infused with love and given an opportunity to give in return. In order meet any or all of these needs, I need to establish and sustain my health. The health of my whole self. The number on the scale is just a small part of this whole process.
If my journey becomes a quest to meet a certain number on a scale, I will be bitterly disappointed once I reach that goal. All of the issues that I have had to deal with over the years will still be there and they will still need to be faced. The only thing that will have changed is the number on the scale. The fantasy about a perfect life suddenly appearing is just that, a fantasy. If I don't work on changing myself on the inside as well as the outside, I am setting myself up for a very bumpy ride. There is so much more to me than just a number. My overall health is complex and complicated. The scale just shares one tiny piece of information. My journey needs to be about my personal development and growth. If I make my journey all about me as a whole, healthy person, it encompasses all aspects of me - those you can see as well as those you can't see. Only when my whole self is healthy will I be able to reach maintenance.