I have been struggling this past few weeks. With everything. My mood, my motivation, my energy... everything seems to be going down the drain
Then this week, we have a week off of school, but I didn't plan on actually taking the time off of school, I planned on charging ahead!... only I didn't. I lost focus. I've been sleeping in and watching TV shows and granted I did get some crocheting in, but that was not the plan. In fact I didn't have a plan. So I thought, maybe I need one.
Then, 'window shopping' on Amazon today, I found the perfect boots... in kids size. So I found some similar ones in my size, bright red, of course
. Then I found a tunic style shirt, which I love, also bright red,
and I'm like, yeah! Then I find the perfect leggings!
Aren't they cute?! I love that kind of pattern! Only it's one size fits all. And we all know what that means. I tried finding them in XL, but then, who wants to see my oversized legs in leggings? Yikes. So I got the boots and I am going to get the tunic (neither will be here till late November, boo) and I got disgusted. I don't want to be this size, but I'm not doing enough to change it.
So here is the plan.
I don't mind going to bed early, so I'm going to be an early to bed kind of gal. Meaning that I am going to get up extra early and work out. Every day, except once per week, which will be determined that week by how tired I am so that if I start feeling like I'm overdoing it, I can take a day of rest. I did the calculations in my head, I can get up and work out before therapy, before school, before church, and still have plenty of time to shower and get ready. I just haven't wanted it badly enough. Walking is great. I need more walking. But it is not enough, I need to be doing more.
I'm going to do my daily walking but I'm going to add back in the WiiFit. No riser (yet) 30 minutes high paced freestyle step aerobics (again, no riser yet) and that will be week one. Plus 30 seconds of burpees and two 10 minute walking sessions. Week two add riser for 5 minutes. Less if my legs can't take it. But increase time to 40 minutes. 45 seconds of burpees and two 10 minute walking sessions. Week 3 add two minutes on riser, stay at 40 minutes, 60 seconds burpees and three 10 minute walking sessions. Add strength training (I'll look at the work out generator). Then we will see where we are at, if I should/can go to using the workout DVD's again. Right now they are too difficult.
Food.... I'm going to go grocery shopping tomorrow. Get some rice or almond milk for my shakes, start drinking them after I work out so I'm not starving by lunch time. If I must I'll have another shake for lunch, depends on what is available. We are going to be low on funds for a while, so everything is going to have to be low budget. Shakes are that. Then dinner will be a portioned helping of whatever the family is having. I have peanut butter balls for snacks and am hoping to get some rice crackers (the air popped kind). I need gum or something. I have cinnamon fire jolly ranchers and that helps me to drink enough water (something else I've not been doing).
Do I feel up to it? No. Not at all. I feel like going and curling up in bed and sleeping till Christmas. But I need to do this. I'm going to spend the weekend planning and coming up with ways to keep me on track and a plan of attack for the house. It's got to get organized and clean, it just has to. I'm tired of things being a mess. I really am. My closet, my files, my body, my brain, are all messes. Time to clean up.
AND, I'm going to go back to Flylady. I've got to get this house in order. I've got to get on a schedule. I know I'm not supermom, super-anything. I'm just me. But I can see where I have been being lazy. Not intentionally. Just giving in to being so damn tired all of the time. We'll we're all tired, and that is no excuse for me to give in, give up. I used to clean houses for a living! I was known for my housekeeping and organizing skills in the military. I can do these things... why have I not? What is holding me back? Why am I holding me back?