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Sunday, November 08, 2015

I was just looking at the pic on the front of my Spark page when I was at my book signing. Wow,. Just wow. Talk about a wake up call.! I'm very happy to say that I am about 20-25 pounds less than that now...but I know: a mere "drop in the bucket". I still have not done any exercise as of yet. It's so hard to talk my hurting body into moving. I have been considering Leslie Sansone again. Is it possible? I know I could not make it through one mile. At least at first. But it would be great to have that as a beginner goal. My room in the basement is pretty crowded right now. Also my recumbent bike is down there. I could try to do that also. If I make it for five minutes it would be a miracle. I also have DVD's for chair dancing and exercise. I have every thing I need. BUt determination? Optimism? Not so sure about that. I know from past experience that, in order to really remain motivated for weight loss, I have to be exercising. I think I'm going to church today so will not work out...no time for a shower and don't want to go all sweated up. But tomorrow? Definitely. I will have to get an early start because I have a 9:00 appointment. But seeing as I normally get up at 3:00 AM, that shouldn't be a problem.

I've pretty much had a negative view of life. Would most of the time (and I hate to admit this) would just as well be dead as alive. I have always hoped for an early death as my "golden years" hold little promise for anything other than pain and blindness. So then why have I been so gung ho to follow the Eat to Live food plan and to be thinking about exercising. These are things that will just prolong my time on this Earth. Well I guess,honestly, I have no say about when I will depart from here. That is up to God and fit or not, thin or not, I cannot change his plans for me. But I DO have some control over my level of fitness and general Health. I have a LOT of diseases and diagnoses. And there is nothing I can do about that. But maybe to some degree I can have some control over my ability to enjoy my life and to prolong the time when I will finally concede to a wheelchair.

I saw a video yesterday about artificial intelligence and how it is impacting technology that can be used by blind people. And at the end of the video they showed three women running and the middle one was blind ....she was holding on to a sort of loop that was over the arm of the woman next to her. Imagine. Running when you can't see what is in front of you! You would really have to trust your running partner. But how freeing that would be!

any way. No matter what efforts i exert, I cannot divert God's plans for me. And there is comfort in that thought. Whether he wants me to exit at 55 or at 90...all i can really have a modicum of control over my fitness and thinness until that time. Of course, there are steroids and asthma. it seems like every time I get my health in order, Asthma is waiting in the wings to kick my butt. If I can keep my food choices in line, then it won't really matter the quantity....it doesn't have to defeat me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I agree with Linda. Eating well and moving your body helps you feel better now and you know that so that's why you keep trying.

    Also, just an FYI - we had a blind woman on our BLC team last round whose main exercising was done to YouTube videos appropriate for blind people. Her SparkName is PRNCSCUP1-2FULL and I'm sure she would be able to give you more info if you like. She truly is inspirational and just proves that you can do anything you set your mind to regardless of what your body does.
    1777 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/10/2015 11:00:25 AM
    It's so hard to believe that we are valuable to God, others and ourselves when we are in pain. But I can see through you that you are able (Like the Apostle Paul as evident in his letters) to even embrace God's presence even in the midst of pain and difficult diagnoses. Be encouraged dearly beloved Child of God - God's strength is greater than our weaknesses. You are precious to HIM and to the others that you encourage by sharing transparently sharing your journey, including the detours (Steroids, pain etc.), potholes (insurance, new symptoms) and road construction that pops up along the road!
    1778 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/9/2015 6:13:52 AM
    May I reason with you? When God created Adam and Eve, were they afflicted? No! Their job was to dress the garden, and God gave them the health and strength to do it. They were created in the image of God, perfect and entire. It was not until they yielded to the deceit of Lucifer that sickness and hardship came upon mankind. It was not and is not part of the divine plan of God for us to be weak and unhealthy, but the devil has fooled mankind into believing it is. Don't succumb to that thinking. There are so many scriptures about healing, so many testimonies in the gospels about miracles. In the Old Testament God says He changes not; in the New it says He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Therefore, as God has healed in the past, He will continue to do in the here and now. Yield to THAT WILL, not to what the enemy has tried to convince you to blame on God. He is a Liar!
    1778 days ago
    1778 days ago
    I'd like to thank you for the blog, it was a Wonderful, Amazing, Great, Blog! I hope you have a Blessed Day on the Lord's Day! LYL!
    1778 days ago
  • _LINDA
    There is only one true reason for doing this now in spite of all the pain and hardships. Exercising and eating right make you feel better right now. No matter what the pain level, to be able to still move is to have your freedom. Being thinner feels better. Its not a cosmetic thing. I could care less about my appearance. I do and wear what feels comfortable and is easy for me to deal with (no buttons, big and baggy) Its not a prolonging your life thing. Its simply about making you feel better as much as you can in the present. That is really all that is important in the end. One thing about the Sansone walks, they really can be done anywhere and in a small space. You don't have to try make it downstairs. Take your laptop to the living room and go for it (or in your bedroom if its big enough. You can find her videos online on You tube. You can also find chair workouts online too.
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    1779 days ago
    Thanks for this
    1779 days ago
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