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Day 337

Thursday, December 03, 2015

emoticon I'm an emotional eater. I have given in to emotional eating the past two days. Why can't I want to emotionally eat carrots? It's something I have to learn to control, or I'm never going to lose this weight. I call it self sabotage, and it is in a way. I have steps now to take when I'm wanting to emotionally eat. I'm keeping a food log, and planning out my meals ahead of time, so I know if I'm starting to think about emotionally eating because it usually means going off plan. I now know to slow down and think of the emotion that is causing me to over eat and a few steps to help me to not do it.

I have a great approach to eating now, I'm not going to let emotional eating ruin it. I will conquer this. I will not give up. I will not give in.

Morning workout is my best bet. I was going to work out last night and I was so tired from the day, both emotionally and physically (Wed. is therapy day) that I just could not, I was ready to pass out. So on days that I have early morning things to do, I must get up earlier... except when I have to go in for my fasting labs. Can't work out when I'm not allowed to drink or eat anything.

I've never wanted to look like a super-model. I'm too short and I have always had curves, wrong body type. I used to love my body, I was in such good shape! I need to not let my being overweight ruit that either. This is the only body I get, and if I love it, maybe I will treat it better! I love my eyes, when there wasn't fat squishing them more closed, they were big and bright and green. I love my mouth, I have full lips, that now go down a little due to the weight. I used to love my face shape, which now looks to me kinda doughy because of all the extra weight I'm carrying on my face. But when I look in the mirror, I can still see me, underneath the extra layer of fat

One of the things I dislike most about my body right now is that from the 2 c-sections I had to have, my stomach has collapsed over the scars and hangs down, creating a flap of skin and fat. I feel like this is the most broken part of me. But DH has agreed to let me have the skin removal once I've lost the weight and it becomes just skin, no fat. Like they do on Extreme Weight Loss. This should be enough to motivate me like crazy. I can't stand this one part of me looking like this, knowing that in a year it could be gone, that's motivation! DH didn't just agree to get that surgery for me, but any extra skin that needs to be removed after I lose the weight. And if necessary, a breast reduction.

I know a lot of people don't agree with surgery, and I don't like surgeries, but don't judge. This is what will help me along the journey, this is my choice to make. And if you have never had extra skin flapping down over your belly and into your lap, you just don't understand the struggle.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    After reading so many of your blogs, I see a pattern. You fall off the wagon, you are an emotional eater, you get right back on the wagon, and then history repeats itself. I am not saying this is bad but you are avoiding the elephant that has been standing in the room so to speak. YOU CANNOT BE SUCCESSFUL IN WEIGHT LOSS until you psychologically figure out why you keep on eating to numb your emotional feelings. That is the secret to a successful healthy journey. Actually it isn't a secret, it is a well known fact. Work on your inner self, maybe seek a therapist and dive into why your are emotionally driven to eat. Once you figure that out, you are on your way. Consider this, okay?
    1586 days ago
    Nothing wrong with wanting to be more comfortable with your body. Motivation comes from all kinds of places. Good luck!
    1587 days ago
    I hope that you have a fantastic day today!
    1587 days ago
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