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Learning things about myself

Friday, December 04, 2015

I feel like I've been searching for me for a long time now. I have been a daughter, a wife, a mother of 5, and a hard working employee for most of my life. Then one day my husband left me, my children grew up, my parents died and my employer of 21 years "downsized" me. I didn't know who was left.

I did get married again to a man who is my partner, not my boss. My children are all wonderful adults who I miss as children but am very proud of the adults they have become. I have recently been exploring my parent's lives and have found out that they, too, were once just people - and rather interesting people at that. And after almost 7 years of being 'retired', I look back at the job that took so much of me and don't miss it at all!

But it's just been over this past year of being on SparkPeople that I have begun to find the person inside this body. I always thought I handled stress really well because I was always under a lot of stress only to find out that I need to find better, healthier ways to cope with things. I've been trying out meditation - I love the idea of it but I'm not very good at calming my mind. Practice makes perfect.

I'm also realizing that I can eat healthier without trying to eat foods I don't really like that well. it's more about moderation and cooking from scratch rather than eating out or buying prepackaged foods. The other day I was tired and rather than cook what I had planned I grabbed a box of pre-made potatoes that I bought before I started cooking again. I used to really like these potatoes - but apparently my taste has changed because it felt like I was eating the box, not the potatoes.

I have always thought of cleaning as a core that simply had to be accomplished. I am now starting to see it as a way to get up and move this body of mine - it may not be true exercise but it beats sitting on the couch watching reruns!

And for the first time in several years I am getting outside during the winter, in the snow, to take walks with Daisy. I have lost enough weight that layering is working better and my body is moving easier.

I'm starting to find that person inside me and I actually think I might like her!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    1635 days ago
  • JAYCEE1969
    Sweet blog. We sound alike. Thanks for sharing. And yes house rain.g is way better then being a couch potato. And I always feel a sense of relief and satisfaction when I'm done. Great distraction for the chaotic mind too.
    1639 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14959796
    1639 days ago
    I have been going through what you shared. I worked at a job that I thought I would retire fromand the doors closed. My children are now adults making their way in life. I didn't do well with change. I gained 100 pds.Now I am learning who I am.
    1640 days ago
    Glad your finding yourself...Doesn't have much to do with your body size though. I went from 320 to 147 and still felt that same feeling.
    1640 days ago
    good for you! Little steps can make positive changes. emoticon
    1640 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.