A Picture Says A Thousand Words
Saturday, January 02, 2016
If a picture says a thousand words, what does its say when you look at it and think "that person isn't me"?
I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point the person that I became wasn't the person that I see in my mind. People say that you need to accept yourself as you are, but I can't. When I look in the mirror, all I can think is "Who is that person?". I find myself filled with disgust and self-loathing. How can I expect someone else to love me if I can't even like myself?
This is my reality. Do I go on hating myself or do I try to do something about it? Do I stuff my self-hate which usually leads to more eating for comfort or do I finally say enough-is-enough?
Bottom line is: I am not okay with the woman in the mirror, but its not because of the weight she carries or how she looks. It is because deep down I know that I am not doing all that I can to be healthier; deep down I know that part of me has given up and accepted it.
There is still that other part of me telling me to get up and keep fighting. I have realized there is no perfect number or shape for me. I understand now that I won't be really happy with myself until I know that I am doing all that I can to be as close to my image in my mind as possible.
There is no perfect way to success. Being happy for me means getting up each day and trying to be a little better than the day before.