When your mind is a dirty rotten liar.

Anyone else have days like this?

I am having one today.

Though I know better, I've been weighing myself daily. Some people can do this just fine without every losing their equal libreum.. but uh, I am not one of them. :) Fluctuations can send me into a head spin, in a way that is like riding the tilt-a-whirl. You know that intellectually the spinning WILL stop, but the moments until it does feel like forever.

Yet.. now and again, I'll catch myself doing this anyway. It's the instant gratification/validation that my inner Veruca Salt craves and stomps her feet when she doesn't get it. I know that watching what you eat and exercise works. It's worked well for me when I lost over 100+ pounds on spark, because THAT's what I was doing. It's all right there!

Why then, when I see that I am suddenly "up" by a 1 pound and change after 2 days of being military on top of it (as opposed to be regularly ontop of it. :D) , do these doubts creep in my head? The ones that ask if I am sure this is going to work. That what if this is all for nothing?

Know what I mean?

Then I know it's time to take my head, pull it out of the dark space it's hiding and slap some sense into it.

It's not for nothing! I've taken off -8 since last month. If I don't lose this week, that will suck, but it's not a gain! The way that I was heading, I was gaining like I was trying to be a sumo wrestler. Regardless of what kind of loss, or non loss I may be dealing with, it wont be a gain.

I was also reminded to focus on the physical aspects of what I am doing. I am no longer checking my watch every 5 minutes to see if my alloted time for my work out is over. I am able to do side plank (no stacking feet yet!) for a 30 second hold , instead of dropping to one knee. Dolphin pose no longer wants to makes me want to cry (grunt yes, cry no).
I am belly dancing again and last class, did not leave me out of breath.



So..